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Newest Member: Gypsy2017 (60730)

User Topic: Today's Triggers are brought to you by...
♀ 39313
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the condom aisle at the grocery store.

I was waiting to pick up the husband's prescription. I had to wait about 5 minutes next to the condoms. Thinking and wondering if he really used them, who bought them, why (to be safe or not to get her pregnant).

I have been in a rotten mood now the rest of the day. I've been rotten to my kids too. I'm so fucking stressed out.

What are your triggers today?

I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 363 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 38089
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Holding hands with him in the car = thinking of him holding hands with SLUT.

A thread on here = he told me sex was bad...he is probably lying, and thinking of him and SLUT bag hav ing sex.

OW - (former co worker of WH)
Dday: Dec 2012

Posts: 608 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 40852
Member # 40852
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He found out about an event he wasn't invited to this past weekend because of his behavior at the conference where he had his ONS and he told me he was having a rough day because he was now it was a sharp reminder of what he's lost because of his actions (which included out of control alcoholism).

Yeah....thanks a bunch for that being what sends you off on your pity party....

Me: BS
Him: WH ONS/short EA
Married 11 years
Together 15 years
2 children

Posts: 64 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 35417
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep getting an email that says, Did you know that "___________" (my husband's name) is on Google+ ?

I sent my husband this message...

"Can you please tell me what Google+ is? I keep getting emails asking if I know that "_____" is on Google +. It is triggering me very badly. Whatever site it is, I don't want anything to do with it."

No matter how innocent it may turn out to be, it can't keep me from remembering that my WH spent quite a bit of time online with other women.

ANYTHING can be a trigger. I am just trying to keep it form affecting me too very much.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 4450 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once again- driving through her town on my way to work- driving through her town where the A took place. Everyday. Every morning and every afternoon. I drive through very effing day.

Just call me Wonder

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.

Divorced and super good with that
Me- FBS 42
Him- EX!! 38
17 years
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
♀ 39532
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yoghurt. Stupid right? But there's a new brand here in Australia and it's her name. And the advertising is everywhere. Can't escape.

BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
♀ 39670
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My triggers started first thing when WH left a sweet and loving note next to the coffee pot. How can he feel those things and do what he did? He can't. He's trying, I call BS. (and that is bullsh/t, not betrayed spouse )

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 41038
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The name of a singer that sang songs that he posted for her. Someone said his name.

Yep, nearly 3 years out, it still happens.

DDay - 12/2010
Fully R'd - I love my husband

Posts: 2246 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
♀ 38020
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had one of H's OW's as a patient come into the clinic. She hasn't been in for about two months now (she has no idea who I am, never met H in person, didn't even know he was in a relationship when they sexted). Everytime I hear someone with that very common woman name at work, my ears perk up and I am scared I will be face-to-face with her. Again.

Happy fun times here. @@

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."

Posts: 879 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 40185
Member # 40185
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reliving a conversation from the past and we both hadtwo different opinions on how it happened/what was said. He had to hide the A for so long he had to hide lots of things in conversations...just triggered on maybe he hasn't fully recovered from that.

D-Day 8/3/13

Posts: 20 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 40032
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seeing footies in my own sock drawer last nite. OW left footies for me to find. I went down the rabbit hole last nite with fWH trying to pull me back out. Things are better today. But it's really hard living in our house... full of triggers and I still can't believe he let her in our private home.

[This message edited by whattheh at 5:00 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]

M 35+ False R 2013-15 True R 2016-present. Online cheating, IRL cheating which all started with porn compulsion and ERD supplements
2 PA 2 ONS. Cheating 2009-12 Stalker MOW 2011-present

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ 41158
Member # 41158
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

having my car detailed tomorrow so he is outside getting the random crap out . I found his pay as you go phone under the seat of my car where it had been hidden while not texting the cumguzzling c***s for 7 months. Dirty car is my trigger, cleaning my car is a trigger , having him clean car is a trigger. Thats why we do once a month full detail but its still a trigger

Me 34 BS
Him 44 WS
3 EA, 1 PA each lasting over 7 months concurrently.
Are we in R? who the hell knows.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 39560
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My IC is held every Monday afternoon. To get to IC office, I must pass by OW street.

so every Monday on my way there I trigger, and even though my IC sessions are good, I trigger again 60 minutes later on my return trip.

Me (BS): 47 him (Xws): 55
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March - June 2013
Dday4 + June 2015 through January 2016
Status: done I called it quits 1-6-2016
The hardest part of letting go is realizing there wasn't much left to hold on to

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
♀ 39077
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Second verse, same as the first!

WH is confused how what he did was a BAD IDEA and posted in Wayward. He doesn't connect how nearly identical what he's saying is to the justifications he gave me that I was the one in the wrong to keep him from going to his "support structure" and "friends" when I asked him to go NC with his last batch of EAs. "But what about my feelings?"

F*** this entire past week.

[This message edited by Reality at 6:55 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]

Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A post in General about an OW with a motorcycle. It is easier to quote myself from that thread.
Women on motorcycles are a trigger for me, too. OW has a motorcycle in our sitch. Thought it would lure my FWH with its stupid motorcycle. Really??? If FWH wanted a motorcycle he would buy one. Doesn't need to sit on the back of yours like he's your bitch. Or better, did you really think he would feel like a man driving your motorcycle and that would lure him away from me? At least it would be sitting in the proper place that was, apparently, named after it. The bitch seat. What a c you next tuesday.

I am so sorry to any women that ride motorcylces here, but I really have a visceral negative reaction towards female's (even my sister-in-law) riding motorcycles.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13103 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His computer speakers. The sound quality today was horrible. I know he web cammed with at least one OW. I kept thinking about how terrible the sound must have been during their sessions.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 40715
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mum,

She's visiting from the other side of the world next week.
Each of last 2 visits, 2 years apart, he was in A's.
One afternoon, years ago, my mum quite innocently said, " Why did he lie to you just now?"
I had no idea and my mum is deaf so she wasn't listening to words she was watching his face and body language, and, yep, she was bloody right again. She always looking forward to seeing feeling sick

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens

Posts: 266 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ 40128
Member # 40128
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A pamphlet my son brought home from school today about "cyber safety". He told me to read this part about "sexting" because it was so funny. This is how it read:
"Sexting: DON'T DO IT. You may have heard stories at school or in the news about people "sexting" - sending nude photos from mobile phones. Don't do it. Period. People who create, forward or even save sexually explicit photos, videos or messages put their friendships and reputations at risk."

So where does my mind go? Their A started with sexts. TONS of photos. So I sent a picture of the paragraph and sent it to my husband with the caption, "See, even 3rd graders know better."

P.S. OMG hate the condom aisle! My H used cash to go to CVS and buy the condoms for his escapades with OW. I always wonder, did he stand there and study all the different types of condoms? Did he choose the ultra thin? The vibrating condom? I even remember him saying once that they sell vibrating condoms now at CVS and I was like "wow, that's crazy"...and I remember wondering why he was looking at the condoms since we don't use them?

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married 13 years at time of D-Day, 2 small children
D-day 1: 8/16/12 (told it was EA only)
D-day 2: 9/22/12 (the OW confessed to the truth and exposed the PA)
12 month affair, 10 months PA
Today: In MC and IC, attempting R

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 40624
Member # 40624
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH traveling today. Him Skyping with our babies tonight - he barely had time to call before, but always had time to see that whore's ugly face every night via webcam

Song on the radio at work

Taking laundry to the hamper - he would go away on "business" for the weekend, and bring his dirty laundry home for me to clean

Wow, fewer than I realized today

BW - 44 - SAHM
WH - 45 - 3 year LTA
Blended family - 2 school aged "ours" children left at home.
DDay (which one?) all in 2013
Reconciling - as best we can

Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Southwest US (Tucson)
♂ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I don't have enough sleep I get in a bad mood the whole day thinking about the betrayal and cheating. This week has been rough for me. It's been affecting my mothering capabilities.

D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.

Posts: 539 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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