First, this roller-coaster ride is hard! I feel like WH is making progress. He has been reading Sexual Detours and below are some of the things he as told me the past few days:
--It really wasn't about her (OW), the sex or even our marriage. It was all about him and his fu*&ed up head. He never really let anyone in. (Ding, ding)
--He really has been a jackass to me and the kids. (Yep.)
--That he won the wife jackpot and he is such an idiot. (I couldn't agree more!)
--The day after we switched the clocks back, I slept in for the first time in long time. When I woke up, he was folding laundry in our room. He came over and kissed me on my forehead and told me to sleep in and “just heal”. (Kind of sweet.)
I think the fog is lifting?!? It is kind of a strange feeling that I am quietly celebrating that he has hit bottom. He is starting to feel the shame, embarrassment, and recognize the devastation of his actions. Prior to this week, he was OK if I needed to tell people and he even thought he may tell a few of his friends. For some reason that always bothered me. It felt to me that he didn't think it was a big deal who knew, like he wanted people to know that he was this “stud” at 40, but lately he as done a 180 and desperately doesn't want anyone to know.
Maybe we are taking one small step forward?
Just wanted to post notes on my semi-good week...thanks for listening!
