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ILINIA posted 11/5/2013 16:13 PM

First, this roller-coaster ride is hard! I feel like WH is making progress. He has been reading Sexual Detours and below are some of the things he as told me the past few days:

--It really wasn't about her (OW), the sex or even our marriage. It was all about him and his fu*&ed up head. He never really let anyone in. (Ding, ding)
--He really has been a jackass to me and the kids. (Yep.)
--That he won the wife jackpot and he is such an idiot. (I couldn't agree more!)
--The day after we switched the clocks back, I slept in for the first time in long time. When I woke up, he was folding laundry in our room. He came over and kissed me on my forehead and told me to sleep in and “just heal”. (Kind of sweet.)

I think the fog is lifting?!? It is kind of a strange feeling that I am quietly celebrating that he has hit bottom. He is starting to feel the shame, embarrassment, and recognize the devastation of his actions. Prior to this week, he was OK if I needed to tell people and he even thought he may tell a few of his friends. For some reason that always bothered me. It felt to me that he didn't think it was a big deal who knew, like he wanted people to know that he was this “stud” at 40, but lately he as done a 180 and desperately doesn't want anyone to know.

Maybe we are taking one small step forward?

Just wanted to post notes on my semi-good week...thanks for listening!

painfulpast posted 11/5/2013 16:16 PM

That is great news!!!

It's amazing how them just 'getting it' even in part can bring so much happiness and relief.

Very happy for you!!!

bionicgal posted 11/5/2013 16:45 PM

We liked that book a lot - it gets at deeper stuff, and really got my H to think about the "why" of it all.

bionicgal posted 11/5/2013 16:46 PM

We liked that book a lot - it gets at deeper stuff, and really got my H to think about the "why" of it all.

I think I can posted 11/5/2013 21:13 PM

That sounds really positive--actions, not just words.