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Some big news update and question

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DragnHeart posted 11/5/2013 18:25 PM

Hi all.

First the big news. We will be having another mini dragon hatch in July! Yes I am pregnant, yay for five weeks along and already throwing up everything lol. Our doctor called me this weekend from home to let me know. It's both exciting and terrifying. Wh is ecstatic! I am feeling a whole range of emotions, relief being one. My OB had said that I might require another uterine suspension after my previous pregnancies since i was experiencing pain again. That was the worst surgery ever!!! Both c-sections were 100% easier on recovery than the suspension and I was dreading the possibility that it might have to happen. Since I am pregnant there's no question of whether or not I could get pregnant without another suspension and I have to talk to my OB about what they can do after the baby is born to fix the pain and bladder issues I have. Hopefully they can do whatever needs to be done during the next c-section.

The question I have is about doing the integrated prenatal screening. This tests for Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18 and/or open neural tube defect. With dd we found out I was pregnant to late to do the testing and with DS we chose not to. I'll be 37 this month. Wh doesn't want to do the screening because he says it won't change anything. So what do you think about this screening? Has anyone done it?

The second thing is about wh. He's been consistently losing weight, having trouble sleeping, and no appetite. Doc did blood work which only showed low B12. Wh is taking B12 pills and goes back to have his levels checked in January. Wh and I went to the doc together for his blood work results. The doc then said that he wanted wh to go for a chest X-ray and abdominal/pelvic ultrasound to check for cancer. Everything goes blank when you hear that word! I scheduled the tests for last wednesday and went with him. I couldn't go in with him for the X-ray but I was with him for the ultrasound. To say he was scared is an understatement. He wouldnt talk about the tests at all and the day of he was shaking. The technician asked me to wait outside and wh freaked. If I wasn't staying he was leaving. So I stayed. Wh didn't do well at all. I had to repeat the tech's instructions to get him to respond...at one point she couldn't get a clear image and called in her supervisor. That freaked wh even more.

I know what it's like to be terrified of doctors and tests. I used to have to be sedated anytime I went to the hospital. After dd it just went away for me. For that 8 1/2 months I would be sick at the thought of a c-section. Then it happened and all so fast that my only concern was that my baby survived.

It's apparent my wh has a phobia about doctors/tests and that's ok (i have a phobia about dentists and broke the filling in my molar so I am going to have it fixed tomorrow afternoon....lots of hugs needed for that appointment...).

Then the call Saturday...

When the doctor called he didn't ask for me. He asked for wh who was at work. When the doc realized it was me he then told me that I am pregnant. I asked about wh tests and he said he couldn't discuss the results but that both of us should come see him.

I was just so shocked that I am pregnant that I didn't ask the doc if he wanted wh to call him back. I called the office to ask and was told the doc wasn't working today...

The doctor called from home!

On his day off!

To talk to my wh about his tests...!!!!

I can't explain how upset I was thinking the worst all weekend... I really need to stop always thinking that way. We have been through a lot but I do love the man and the thought of cancer I just couldn't handle.
Wh on the other hand said he is fine and that's that!

So last night we saw our doctor. No apparent cancer but some issues that the doc says isn't a huge concern, slightly odd for his age but not devastating. Just something to check back on later. His weight loss is most likely stress. And the doc called specifically to tell me I was
Pregnant but only had our home number under wh file and didn't know if it was a land line or cell so he just asked for him. Ugh! Three days of worrying. We went to the doctor thinking the worst about wh and I come out with three sheets of blood work I have to do tomorrow...

Other than all of that things are going alright. Dd is doing awesome in school and her bowels are working so well that she's in underwear. She also had a hearing test and passed. DS had his hearing test which didn't go so well. He sees the doc next week to see if he needs tubes put in. Halloween was great even in the rain and we are all looking forward to Christmas.

I miss you all. Hugs :)

Williesmom posted 11/5/2013 18:28 PM

That's a very big update! Congrats on the little dragon.

DragnHeart posted 11/5/2013 18:36 PM

Thank you :). It's still a shock. I can't even explain how happy wh is. He hasnt been this happy in a long time. I imagine all the testing stuff had him preoccupied and freaked out. Now all he talks about is our new little "peanut".

I am at my parents using their Internet and will be heading home soon. If anyone has done that prenatal testing or has an opinion about it I'd like to hear.

Thanks :)

MovingUpward posted 11/5/2013 18:46 PM

Congrats on the baby dragon

musiclovingmom posted 11/5/2013 18:49 PM

I opted out of that pre-natal testing for all 3 of my kids. I've heard horror stories of people being pressured to abort if the testing comes back positive for any of the defects and then going on to deliver a perfectly healthy baby. For me, I knew there were risks (however small) with the procedure (which involves using a long needle to sample amniotic fluid) and, since there was no chance I would ever terminate a pregnancy, even the smallest risk was not worth it to me.

jo2love posted 11/5/2013 19:15 PM

Congrats!!!

Kajem posted 11/5/2013 19:27 PM

I opted for the testing. We wouldn't have terminated a pregnancy. But a baby with neural tube defects needs specialized care, the hospitals where I delivered are not equipped for that level of care. I wanted to know ahead of time in case I needed to switch to a hospital that was equipped to give the specialized care to my special needs baby. Of course my baby is 18, but my DD22 also did the testing when she was pregnant with DGD(17months), for the same reason. Her doctor encouraged the testing for the same reason.

PS congrats on the little dragon!


[This message edited by Kajem at 7:27 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]

jrc1963 posted 11/5/2013 19:40 PM

Wow... lots of big news!

Congrats on the pregnancy.

little turtle posted 11/5/2013 19:51 PM

Congrats on your baby dragon!!! How exciting!

StrongerOne posted 11/5/2013 20:06 PM

Congrats! So exciting!

About prenatal testing. I was a bit older than you when I got preg w DS. Wasn't going to do the testing because I would continue the preg regardless. Nurse-midwife encouraged me to do it because it would help us prepare if there were anything amiss. That's good advice, I think. It might make a difference to the delivery, and also for things like insurance, having appropriate set up at home if medical needs were great, that kind of thing.

HeartStings posted 11/5/2013 20:49 PM

I second what musiclovingmom said. I was 38 and 40 with the birth of my kids, and I never did any testing because 1) I would never abort, and 2) there is a slight risk with the procedure. Also, there are false positives. My friend was told her baby would have Down syndrome, and she was in anguish the rest of the pregnancy. Guess what? Perfectly normal baby.

Congratulations!

lost_in_toronto posted 11/5/2013 21:40 PM

I did the testing because I was older and I wanted to be prepared if there was any medical issues that would be faced at birth. A home delivery was important to me, but I would have changed my plans accordingly.

The testing I had here in Ontario was two ultrasounds and one blood test, so I really didn't feel like there was any risk to my daughter. It gave me peace of mind.

Congrats!

tushnurse posted 11/6/2013 08:33 AM

First of all Congrats on Dragon #3. You pretty much knew didn't you....

Secondly, I skipped the test you asked about because there are so many false positives, it creates a ton of stress, and at the end of the day doesn't really change what you are going to do. If there is something seriously wrong that you need to prep for you will find out at the 20 week US.

Third - I am happy to hear that there is no Cancer, HOWEVER.....If your H is having issues, and they sent him for an xray, and ultrasound, that doesn't sound like standard of care. He should be having a CT scan, and Upper/Lower Endoscopies to pinpoint anything that may be going on. Please don't rely on your PCP to manage or guess how to treat this, or what may be going on. Ask to see a GI dr if this is anything related to gut stuff.

Congrats again!!!!

[This message edited by tushnurse at 8:34 AM, November 6th (Wednesday)]

Undefinabl3 posted 11/6/2013 08:36 AM

Wh doesn't want to do the screening because he says it won't change anything. So what do you think about this screening? Has anyone done it?

We did the tests even though I was younger with both kids.

I disagree with the fact that not knowing wont change anything.

If you know then you can do research while you are preganant and not with a baby in hand. You can scout around for a Peds that has experience in any of the birth disorders and you can become familar and comfortable.

You can locate play groups or support groups so that if something arises that you need emotional support, you don't have to try and look for it while you need the help.

It could also help you choose your insurance, your coverage, what you put into your HSA account to help with any potential needs in the future.

Knowing may not change if you want the child or not, but it will give you much more time to prepare for this little dragon bundle!

and Congrats!

Deeply Scared posted 11/6/2013 08:41 AM

Congratulations!!!

nowiknow23 posted 11/6/2013 08:46 AM

Congratulations on the new little dragon, DH!

Peaches2013 posted 11/6/2013 10:20 AM

Congratulations!

I opted out of the testing. For my first, I was 38 when I delivered. I had a level 2 ultrasound that discovered "issues" (single arterial umbilical cord - turned out to be false) and the genetic "counseling" was traumatic, and I am not a special snowflake.

Discussion with the doctor who handled the first ultrasound and with my OB for my second pregnancy the next year led me to believe that they would be able to tell signs from that very first ultrasound if there were going to be health issues related or unrelated to chromosomal abnormalities. So I opted instead to see what our ultrasound would say rather than do anything riskier.

DragnHeart posted 11/6/2013 15:17 PM

Third - I am happy to hear that there is no Cancer, HOWEVER.....If your H is having issues, and they sent him for an xray, and ultrasound, that doesn't sound like standard of care. He should be having a CT scan, and Upper/Lower Endoscopies to pinpoint anything that may be going on. Please don't rely on your PCP to manage or guess how to treat this, or what may be going on. Ask to see a GI dr if this is anything related to gut stuff.

About wh. They said it looked like he had a blockage in his bowels on the X-ray but he's going at least twice a day and that his prostate is enlarged. He's in his twenties. Ya I am still very concerned but doc wasn't as much and wh refuses to do anymore tests. He's scared and I understand that but it bugs me that something could still be going on.

Dentist refuses todo any work on my until second trimester. So broken molar I'll have to live with. It's getting pulled... Even another cavity she found she won't touch now :(

Thanks again. I am happy to have another Dragn on the way. It's also very nice to see my wh so happy. He can't wait until July :)

JanaGreen posted 11/6/2013 15:41 PM

I'm so glad that your DH is ok. And congratulations on the little dragon! Are you talking about the first trimester screening? I had it done and it was not a big deal, very quick and very reassuring to me when I got the results. Not sure if we're talking about the same thing?

tushnurse posted 11/6/2013 15:41 PM

Tell your H that pretending nothing is going on is not the way to get rid of something that is a problem.

I would have to put my foot down on that one. I have dealt with bowel issues (as you probably already know) for a great deal of my carreer, and any gut issue left unchecked is almost certain to develop into a bigger problem. Tell him ignoring it or refusing to do anything else is like ignoring the check oil light on the car, and continuing to drive it until the engine siezes up and is destroyed. It just is not sensical.

Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, but all three young dragn's deserve to have a healthy dad.

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