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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: Can someone please explain hoovering?
Tripletrouble
♀ 39169
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is it and how do I recognize it? How do you Hoover proof yourself?


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 640 | Registered: May 2013
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is basically when the WS love-bombs you and usually occurs when you are sending out the message that the WS just doesn't matter or that you are nearly *done*.

There are a couple of people that have really good articles regarding this. I'll pm one of them and see if she'll post it here for you.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

See if this helps:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=480828


Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hoovering is manipulating behavior with the purpose of sucking you back in to their drama, way of thinking, views, control,etc. it undermines your independence in a 180 situation, so things go back to being status quo. Which is what the Hoover wants.

Hope this helps
Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5743 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hoovering is manipulating behavior with the purpose of sucking you back in to their drama, way of thinking, views, control,etc. it undermines your independence in a 180 situation, so things go back to being status quo. Which is what the Hoover wants.

Hope this helps
Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5743 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 5

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