I am a tweeter for the Dr. Phil show and we were doing a show on PTSD. I looked at the symptoms and my jaw dropped. I have MOST of them, and I don't know what to do about it. I've already gone to the doctor and I'm on TWO anti-depressants. I went about 2 weeks acting relatively normal, my WH and I went away for the weekend and had a explosive/fun time. Then tonight BOOM! I hate him again. I had him read an article I found to possibly explain why he did this in the first place. In there it talks about how they blame-shift and make the other spouse the "enemy" so they can justify their BAD behavior. I asked him, "so how long was I the enemy?" He said he didn't know, this was the FIRST time he admitted this, so I CONTINUE to get TT.
I find myself questioning everything, asking why didn't you just leave me IF you hated me and wanted to be with her. He felt an obligation to keep the family together. I keep telling him, I would have rather you go than to put me through this hell. He doesn't understand how I can "alright one minute" than go ballistic the next.
I have some questions. Has anyone here experienced PTSD? (I will list symptoms). What treatment was effective in the treatment (I can't do rapid eye movement therapy.) What IF you don't know IF you can live with the betrayal? Do I keep trying or do I cut my losses? My WH didn't even know me, he is crazy happy now that we are closer and are having intimate relations, but that yet another sign of this damn disorder. An I a f.cking beast because I feel inferior and trying to prove myself? I'm TOTALLY lost at this point.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder:
A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:
(1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others.
(2) the personís response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Note: In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior.
B. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of the following ways:
(1) recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions.
(2) recurrent distressing dreams of the event. .
(3) acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening or when intoxicated).
(4) intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.
(5) physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.
C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
(1) efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma
(2) efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma
(3) inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma
(4) markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities
(5) feeling of detachment or estrangement from others
(6) restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)
(7) sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span)
D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the following:
(1) difficulty falling or staying asleep
(2) irritability or outbursts of anger
(3) difficulty concentrating
(5) exaggerated startle response
E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is more than 1 month.
F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than 3 months
Chronic: if duration of symptoms is 3 months or more
With Delayed Onset: if onset of symptoms is at least 6 months after the stressor.
So why the big avoidance to recognize that we suffer from some form of PTSD or something like it? I can go down that list of symptoms and put a check mark next to almost every one of those and Iím sure many who have suffered the pain of infidelity can too, just do a quick Google search and you will see page after page of similar results. That being said, does that mean we just hang up our hats and say oh well, Iím stuck and it is what it is? NO idea what to do. I want to shake my WH I get so mad
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.
Status: We're going to try IC one more time.