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Newest Member: ashm7 (60758)

User Topic: Discovery Requests Already?
♀ 39036
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXH filed for D and in his petition he is requesting that I pay for his attorney fees. We have not assets to split. The only thing we have to settle on are custody and child support.

I moved on October 2nd. I moved 2 1/2 hours away to my parent's home. In every communication I've had with him I've said let me know when you want to see/visit with DS. My attorney has advised that I should not hand over DS to my STBX until we have a signed temporary agreement in place. In the meantime he has not given me a dime and he has not come to see his son. He says "you took my son" and "we will be reunited" but he has made no effort to see his son. He says that visitation in my parent's home is "biased" time. In the meantime DS has had two teeth come in and he is starting to pull himself up in the crib and play pen. He is standing!!!

For the temporary time sharing agreement I have agreed to every other weekend visitation with overnights. He has stated the he wants the baby for a full week, every other essentially a 50/50 split. He has never spent more than 4 hours alone with his own son, but he is asking for this and I think his parent's are behind it so they can watch DS during the day while STBX is at work.

My attorney has made a 3rd request for his financial affidavit and we still haven't received it. No temporary agreement until we get that and child support in place.

On Monday my attorney filed the response to his petition. Yesterday his attorney submitted a request for discovery documents. Doesn't that seem ridiculously early?

I don't know what STBX is thinking...perhaps he thinks there will be a court battle for custody and I will end up paying for his attorney fee, but I wish we could avoid all of this crap.

I'm also really bothered by the fact that he hasn't made any attempt to see his son. It's mind boggling. I think it's part of the NPD...he wants to say that I kept his son from him for X amount of time. I couldn't live without seeing my son. If the roles were reversed I'd be camped out at my inlaws house. This is nuts.

Me: BS 37
Him: WS 37
20 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 418 | Registered: Apr 2013
♂ 30221
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In most places, requesting that the other party pay legal fees is routine and routinely denied by the time you get done.

Listen to your attorney. Do not agree to anything outside the legal system when it comes to your very young son. Given his age, the court will very likely come down on your side when it comes to determining both temporary and post-divorce custody.

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

perhaps he thinks there will be a court battle for custody
He's thinking CS is much less with 50/50 custody. Please make sure you listen to your L and keep documenting each time he avoids seeing his child. Keep good documentation you may need it later on to show that he has in fact made no attempts to see the child even when you offered to let him see him at your parents house.

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 2199 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
♀ 22106
Member # 22106
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't forget to ask for right of first refusal. He sounds like he is going for 50/50 just so he can drop the baby off for his parents to have and to lower child support.

Posts: 349 | Registered: Dec 2008
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it possible that your lawyer could send an offer (or maybe it has already been done?) for your STBX to visit your son at your parents' home every Saturday from ___am till ___ pm or whatever time.... or every Sunday, specifying times.... ? Then, when STBX doesn't accept the offer, it's documentation that you offered and he refused ? I realize you said he said it would be 'biased time' to visit at your parents' home but, really, him visiting at your parents' is realistic considering your son is only 8 mos. old. I might even extend the invite to the grands, just to see if they'll show up. I would have a really hard time handing over my 8 month old child for even a weekend visitation to people he hasn't seen for several months. That does not seem reasonable. And, at this age, forget the every other week. Don't be that generous unless the court says you must.

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

Posts: 1239 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri
Topic Posts: 5

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