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User
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Topic: Today is DDay #2...
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steadfast1973
♀ 24719
Member # 24719 |  Posted: 11:56 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 |     |
After what I thought was 4 years of successful R.  WS called me crying about an hour ago... then came home and told me "everything". I don't feel anything, yet. No. I am lying. I feel... relieved. I don't think I want to R, this time.
Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen
Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest |
painfulpast
♀ 41038
Member # 41038 | | Posted: 12:07 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
I’m sorry – does that say he slept with a prostitute yesterday?
The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends
Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast |
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449 | | Posted: 12:23 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
(((steadfast1973)))
Posts: 11808 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
steadfast1973
♀ 24719
Member # 24719 | | Posted: 12:24 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
Yes. Yesterday.
Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen
Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest |
Kierst13
♀ 39197
Member # 39197 | | Posted: 12:28 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
He has kept you in false R for four years. He has lied about parts of himself to keep you from knowing he held onto the "high" of cheating until he could not say no to it any longer. He jumped from an EA (if he was honest the first time) straight to a PA with a prostitute. Hang on tight, there could be much more truth coming.
He has shown you who he is; believe him!
I am so sorry you are facing this again after what you believed to be successful R.
Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!
Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013 |
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003 | | Posted: 12:30 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
I'm very sorry hun.
(((steadfast1973)))
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.
Posts: 13943 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston |
steadfast1973
♀ 24719
Member # 24719 | | Posted: 12:30 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
It feels different than the last time. I am not angry. I am not sad. I am thinking of where I want me and my girls (10 and 12) to make our fresh start.
Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen
Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest |
realitybites
♀ 6908
Member # 6908 | | Posted: 12:36 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
WS called me crying about an hour ago..
Don't ya just love how they start crying when confessing? Like you are his parent or something.
There does come a time when you just KNOW you are done. You gave him 4 years. Priceless years.
Posts: 5716 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida |
painfulpast
♀ 41038
Member # 41038 | | Posted: 12:42 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
(((((steadfast1973))))) I am so sorry you are hurting.
The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends
Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast |
steadfast1973
♀ 24719
Member # 24719 | | Posted: 12:51 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
Maybe it's shock (since I got the truth all at once at lunchtime today). But I am not hurting. All I feel is relief. And that has me so confused.
Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen
Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest |
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101 | | Posted: 1:00 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
((((steadfast))))
It's ok to not feel. It's your brains way of keeping you safe. I can perfectly understand not wanting to R this go round.
I gave mine one shot, he ruins that he is gone. Or I am.
Perhaps you should start with a to do list.
1. Hefty bag his shit.
2. See a lawyer
3. Open a new bank account with just your name on it, and move half of all funds to it, it is yours.
4. Talk with him and figure out what you are going to tell the kids.
5. Make an appt to see the Dr, and get tested, and then to get any meds that you may need to navigate this.
We are here for you.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy
Posts: 9032 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis |
meplusfour
♀ 38958
Member # 38958 | | Posted: 1:11 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
Be strong and have faith that you are making the right decision, whatever you decide.
BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."
Posts: 406 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada |
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003 | | Posted: 1:25 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
All I feel is relief
That's what I felt when I was finally done.
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.
Posts: 13943 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston |
megs56
♀ 40791
Member # 40791 | | Posted: 1:42 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.
(((steadfast1973)))
Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32
I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.
Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.
Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Sacramento, Ca |
still2suspicious
♀ 31722
Member # 31722 | | Posted: 3:05 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
Only you know when you are done.
And he will have NOTHING to say about it.
 Asshat!!
Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA
Posts: 1345 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: |
Truly
♀ 40715
Member # 40715 | | Posted: 3:11 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
Oh. My. God.
I am so very, very sorry.
You feel relief? That may be because you now know it's time to move on.
This is my biggest fear. Yet another DD.
He is a cheat. It's his core competency. Believe him. And softly, but gently, the door closes.
(((((((steadfast))))))
There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens
Posts: 263 | Registered: Sep 2013 |
| Topic Posts: 16 | |
