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Maybe they can change!?!

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Mama_of_3_Kids posted 11/6/2013 19:41 PM

I was looking at the website for a local church when lo and behold, I see that FOW is the secretary of said church I'm stuck between wanting to puke and really hoping, at least for her kid, that she has changed her slutty ways. I know I need to forgive, but this is hard Stupid thing is I'm sure she doesn't even realize what she did to me and my kids; how she almost ruined us by pursuing a relationship with a M man

Raven96 posted 11/6/2013 20:23 PM

Oh, my goodness, are you kidding me??? Unbelievable!

I'm sorry, but I don't think many of the APs know or care what they do to us or our children. They're incapable. If they can sleep with someone who is married...

UGH! I hope if you were looking for a new church to attend, that would NOT be your choice.

Ostrich80 posted 11/6/2013 20:29 PM

Just because its at a church doesn't necessarily mean she's changed her ways, could be just a paycheck, Kwim? But yea that would seem strange seeing that. When ow went to a funeral of a mutual friend, I.opted out, however I was wondering if lightening would strike when she entered the church.

Mama_of_3_Kids posted 11/6/2013 20:35 PM

I understand that FOP CAN change...there are thousands(?) here that have changed. However, FOW in our case was never remorseful and tried to tell me that there was nothing between them She continued to whore around, with other men, after I discovered the A.

We're definitely not looking for another church...I was just looking at churches (it's something I'm interested in...seeing what others believe and such). However, no, we wouldn't go to that church now

Gemini71 posted 11/6/2013 21:49 PM

STBXH is a pastor's kid, regular church goer, attends bible study, ushers at services, plays on the church softball and basketball teams.... His hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Church involvement does not equal faithfulness.

h0peless posted 11/6/2013 21:54 PM

My Mom (a pastor's kid) cheated on my dad with the pastor of our church. I always find it strange when people confuse religiosity for virtue.

Scientist posted 11/7/2013 03:51 AM

No, I don't think they can change. Their whole way of doing relationships and what they will tolerate is different from faithful people. They are happy to survive on crumbs and sordid sex in carparks, with no real commitment and no involvement as adults in the real world. That is simply too much to change. I am hoping that there is a slight chance with my WS, but even there, the same horrible characteristics are there; and a hell of a lot to alter in one lifetime...

Undefinabl3 posted 11/7/2013 08:19 AM

I highly doubt that she's changed. She probably sees it as "see i am a good person because I work at a church now"

welcome14 posted 11/7/2013 08:30 AM

I can relate- WXF was vice president of the church council (MY church he converted to) and did not think it necessary to resign while he was trolling AFF, Craigslist, etc. He even married one of his whores in it. Needless to say, I haven't been able to go back, which is unfortunate since I am in a small town and that is the only church of it's denomination and I really liked the Pastor. The wayward's suckage knows no bounds.....

Ambergray posted 11/7/2013 09:12 AM

Maybe. The OW in our situation is heavily involved in church and was before, during and after the A. Makes me sick.

DrivingPast posted 11/7/2013 11:31 AM

If one thinks OPs cant change then wouldnt one think that WSs cant change? Its a two way street, not one evil and one innocent.

I liked this quote:

I always find it strange when people confuse religiosity for virtue.

Truly posted 11/7/2013 11:46 AM

One of WHs OW (BBC) sates in her email that:

"She is good womens, faithful and of God."

She also has a whole, great long winded character reference, obviously from an ex, on one of those 'searching for a new man'(status) sites, (BADOO, I think) He raves on about her religious, pious, perfect behaviour...

Yeah, that's why you're 43, never been married and a serial user of other women's husbands.

(Insert rude comment about OW here)

Many a hypocrite spends time in church, do you think it makes them feel better? Are they attempting to hide their sins under a veneer of piety or atone for past sins? Who knows...I have a limited understanding of Ws mind maps...

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