Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Anderson78

General :
Maybe they can change!?!

This Topic is Archived
default

 Mama_of_3_Kids (original poster member #26651) posted at 1:41 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

I was looking at the website for a local church when lo and behold, I see that FOW is the secretary of said church I'm stuck between wanting to puke and really hoping, at least for her kid, that she has changed her slutty ways. I know I need to forgive, but this is hard Stupid thing is I'm sure she doesn't even realize what she did to me and my kids; how she almost ruined us by pursuing a relationship with a M man

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 6552994
default

Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 2:23 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Oh, my goodness, are you kidding me??? Unbelievable!

I'm sorry, but I don't think many of the APs know or care what they do to us or our children. They're incapable. If they can sleep with someone who is married...

UGH! I hope if you were looking for a new church to attend, that would NOT be your choice.

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

posts: 379   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6553053
default

Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 2:29 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Just because its at a church doesn't necessarily mean she's changed her ways, could be just a paycheck, Kwim? But yea that would seem strange seeing that. When ow went to a funeral of a mutual friend, I.opted out, however I was wondering if lightening would strike when she entered the church.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6553065
default

 Mama_of_3_Kids (original poster member #26651) posted at 2:35 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

I understand that FOP CAN change...there are thousands(?) here that have changed. However, FOW in our case was never remorseful and tried to tell me that there was nothing between them She continued to whore around, with other men, after I discovered the A.

We're definitely not looking for another church...I was just looking at churches (it's something I'm interested in...seeing what others believe and such). However, no, we wouldn't go to that church now

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 6553072
default

Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 3:49 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

STBXH is a pastor's kid, regular church goer, attends bible study, ushers at services, plays on the church softball and basketball teams.... His hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Church involvement does not equal faithfulness.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6553139
default

h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 3:54 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

My Mom (a pastor's kid) cheated on my dad with the pastor of our church. I always find it strange when people confuse religiosity for virtue.

posts: 3136   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: Baja Arizona
id 6553144
default

Scientist ( new member #40910) posted at 9:51 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

No, I don't think they can change. Their whole way of doing relationships and what they will tolerate is different from faithful people. They are happy to survive on crumbs and sordid sex in carparks, with no real commitment and no involvement as adults in the real world. That is simply too much to change. I am hoping that there is a slight chance with my WS, but even there, the same horrible characteristics are there; and a hell of a lot to alter in one lifetime...

Me: 58
WW: 58
M: 36 years
Together 39 years
4 children, 1 grandchild
dday(1) July 2005; dday(2) September 2013

posts: 46   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2013   ·   location: UK
id 6553302
default

Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 2:19 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

I highly doubt that she's changed. She probably sees it as "see i am a good person because I work at a church now"

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6553438
default

welcome14 ( member #26741) posted at 2:30 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

I can relate- WXF was vice president of the church council (MY church he converted to) and did not think it necessary to resign while he was trolling AFF, Craigslist, etc. He even married one of his whores in it. Needless to say, I haven't been able to go back, which is unfortunate since I am in a small town and that is the only church of it's denomination and I really liked the Pastor. The wayward's suckage knows no bounds.....

Bs- me
Someone I used to know- Him
Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

posts: 1566   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2009   ·   location: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
id 6553454
default

Ambergray ( member #40778) posted at 3:12 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Maybe. The OW in our situation is heavily involved in church and was before, during and after the A. Makes me sick.

Me-40
WH-40
Dday June 2013



"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

posts: 174   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2013
id 6553495
default

DrivingPast ( member #32984) posted at 5:31 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

If one thinks OPs cant change then wouldnt one think that WSs cant change? Its a two way street, not one evil and one innocent.

I liked this quote:

I always find it strange when people confuse religiosity for virtue.

BW
married more than 10 yrs to a possible SA
D-Day May 5 2011
"Because one knows people best through their fears - the ones they overcome and the ones they are overcome by."

posts: 1304   ·   registered: Aug. 2nd, 2011
id 6553646
default

Truly ( member #40715) posted at 5:46 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

One of WHs OW (BBC) sates in her email that:

"She is good womens, faithful and of God."

She also has a whole, great long winded character reference, obviously from an ex, on one of those 'searching for a new man'(status) sites, (BADOO, I think) He raves on about her religious, pious, perfect behaviour...

Yeah, that's why you're 43, never been married and a serial user of other women's husbands.

(Insert rude comment about OW here)

Many a hypocrite spends time in church, do you think it makes them feel better? Are they attempting to hide their sins under a veneer of piety or atone for past sins? Who knows...I have a limited understanding of Ws mind maps...

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens



posts: 266   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2013
id 6553661
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy