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These words ring in my ears and echo in my mind this day, as I watch the pouring rain with the baby.

We can choose.

It was written by a friend of mine in an encouragement letter and I love it.

We can choose how people impact us.

We can choose what we bring forward in our life and

We can choose what we leave behind.

We can choose what we respond to and what we don't.

We can even choose how we react.

We Can Choose.

We can choose what road to take and be careful at

each fork.

We can choose to look behind us or ahead.

We can choose how people impact us and

We can choose how life impacts us and

We can choose who we surround ourselves with.

We can choose what filter to put on our brain and our ears and our hearts.

We can choose.

She has seen much strife in her life and writes this after the loss of a very close and very young relative who died.

She told me that she wrote this while sitting under a willow tree planted in memory of the person.

I may try to make this into a poster and if I ever get to write my book, may be a good title.

I hope it helps even one person today, kind of like the chain letters of yester year.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 9:17 AM, November 7th (Thursday)]

Very nice...a great reminder to everyone that they are in control of themselves

aaahhhhh self-control. The only real control one has in this world. This was key in my healing as well.

Very good "reminder post". Thank you.

It appears to me that many bad decisions are not made out of a desire to "do wrong" or to "cause pain" but are made out of immaturity. Affairs, from my standpoint, appear to be very immature in nature...liken back to my relationships in high school. Infatuation, secret and forbidden nature of them, the thrill associated with being "discovered", the over-romantizing what the relationship REALLY is or means. How many of us had mature self-control in highschool?

What is also surprising to me is how the parts of ME that negatively impacted intimacy within our M can be traced back to my puberty era. My FOO issues and coping mechanisms in effect stopped my emotional growth in some areas at the age that I developed them. They are, after all, coping mechanisms....not "dealing" or "processing" mechanisms. They mask that a problem, issue or pain exist. Can't mature past something if you can't recognize their is something to grow past...cant "choose" to do differently if you aren't self aware enough to accept that you are making a choice...right?

IC has helped tremendously on this realization.

Good post.....choosing is tied to a self-control issue. Believe me, there was times I really felt out of control....WAS out of control when I saw my wifes AP....I now see even that was a choice.

God be with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:11 AM, November 7th (Thursday)]

Seems so easy when you read but oh so difficult to put action in those words, for me.