I can't breathe!! One minute I'm yelling at him with a rage and an anger I've never seen in myself, the next I've collapsed on my bedroom floor in a puddle of tears.
I feel completely out of control of my emotions!! Like I'm spinning in a tornado of negativity and I can't see straight.
The most painful thing, even more than his betrayal, is the loss of my previous life. The wonderful marriage I thought I had, the friend I could confide in, the beautiful family we had created for our children. The last 18 years of my life just slipped away with no warning.
This is not just an affair, my H is seriously ill. I read every email and he clearly manipulated this poor OW into all sorts of perverse sexual acts.
He's seeking help for his childhood trauma and addiction issues that surely led to this. But I just CANNOT stand here and support him. I don't have the strength. Addicts are addicts for life...regardless of what the object of their addiction is. I don't see subjecting myself or my children to further permanent damage down the road.
I'm taking all of your advice to wait at least 6 months to clear my head before I file for divorce.
But I'm broken.