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My NB is crappy lately

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Helen of Troy posted 11/8/2013 14:50 PM

I'm going through a slump. NB is crappy lately, having a hard time believing that love actually exists. Or if it does, it will never be for me, self worth issues and still fighting with xwh who cancels visitation 3 days prior, blames me for not offering to transport (including pay for airfare wtf or drive three and a half hours each way so he can see them. It's written in divorce he pays transportation costs and transports for his once a month!) as if I have tons of free time and he is the only one on the planet who works for a living because he has to pay ME SO MUCH MONEY. He has one full time job no parenting yet tries to tell me everything I do wrong in regards to that. He has someone to do his dirty work and someone to share bills with an additional income. Ok that stupid fucktard I have three jobs and no help. Single mom, full time employee, part time student in one of the hardest majors on campus. Kids with mental health issues (again he blames me for), hormonal teens, I do no social activities because I am either exercising, studying, at work or asleep FML!, keep up a large house including yard work and making it sale ready in one year, doing all repairs and maintenance and yard work. Mr. Narc has one job and none of these things supposed to see his kids once a month, cancels citing work and money, when last month went on vaca with nw/fow and blasted pics all over FB where his kids could see them. gee dad can go on vacation with stepwhore but can't see us one time a month? When confronted he says I was snooping on him and that I need to get over the fact that he is married now and his vaca is none of my business. Ugh that makes me want to PUKE. If he were the last man on earth I would go play for the other team. He is disgusting to me. Ow/nw believes this too. It is one of the biggest distortions I have ever heard in my life! No way in hell! none of those things are true. The girls told me these things I don't give a flip what he does except that it hurts their feelings being ditched like that.
SO of one year and I are not back together yet will do a mutual activity together this weekend. He is so confusing to me. One thing I am confident there is no one else...though that doesn't help me figure out what to do or how I really feel.
My point of posting this is for someone to tell me it does get better. Everyday I have to fake positive and it's getting old. Everything is too hard I have no fun relaxation or social time- ever. Share with me how you had a NB slump, tried with your best effort only to keep struggling, have obstacles thrown in your way and how you made it through it. That would be great.
Thanks a lot.

Newlease posted 11/8/2013 16:14 PM


Your schedule wears me out just hearing about it.

You are working towards a degree so that you can cut back to one job, right?

You plan on getting the house sold, right?

As for your X - if the kids have seen things on FB that disappoint them, tell them to share it directly with their dad. No need for you to get in the middle of that.

I don't know how you could have any time or energy to even think about dating right now - that will sort itself out in time.

It sounds like you are overwhelmed, with good reason. Try to see each thing as one part - you don't have to do it all at once.

Is there any way you can get some respite from the kids and the house and do something that is just totally for you? Even for 1 hour?

Sending strength and peace.


caregiver9000 posted 11/8/2013 18:12 PM


It does get better.

I have no proof of this. But it seems logical. The cycle of life and the stress that you describe just can't go on forever.

The level of angst is not sustainable, so either the stressers go away, or you care less, or there is a distraction at some point. So..... it will get better!

I wish it to be soon for you.

Williesmom posted 11/8/2013 19:23 PM

((Wgb)). It does get better. Just keep plugging along.

sheila0304 posted 11/9/2013 06:59 AM

I believe life will get better.

I keep plugging away because the alternative is unacceptable. My ex would love to hear I couldn't create a positive life without him, I will not give him that satisfaction..ever. He is an ass.

My internal life is better without him. The external took a major hit, but that is his shame not mine.

"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill


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