I had a interesting support group when I was in the acute phase of H's A. I had a friend that D'ed after her H has an A, I had a friend that recounciled, I had a friend that had been an OW and a friend (male) that had had an A. The first three were all females. It was interesting to hear their views. Ultimately, my female friends were more about the feelings and emotions. My male friend equated it more to reptilian reflexes and in a male that demonstrated it, he was adamant that it would not change. He indicated it had nothing to do with emotions etc. That is when I realized that men and women approach A's differently.
This is not to mean that this characterization fits everyone. I know some females that did not worry about emotions and would drop their pants at the thought of any action. I know some males that are very involved with feelings and emotions and would be crushed if their spouse had a A and would never have an A themselves. I was just sharing attitudes from my 4 in the support group. In is an interesting topic.