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little in law rant

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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 12:55 AM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

My mother-in-law has three kids. Amy, Beth, and Chris. Chris is my husband.

Beth married a man named Joe. Joe has a brother, Sven.

Sven is a recovered drug addict ( herion). A few years ago, when Sven was still using herion, Beth and Joe had Sven over for dinner and Beth's wedding and engagement rings were stolen from her jewerly box.

The rings were worth over $10,000. Not to mention sentimental.

So can someone tell me why my in-laws either will not friend me on Facebook, or flat out have me blocked, and they are all wishing Sven a happy Birthday today?

I use wh Facebook sometimes and saw my mil and sil ... The one who's rings he stole... Wish him a happy birthday.

I dont get people? I don't really want them to be my friends, but why on earth would you be nice to the guy who stole your wedding rings... Or the guy who stole your daughter's wedding rings. If they were my Facebook frineds, they'd get to see the 1 billion pics I post of the kids. But to be Sven's friend, I dont get it

I guess that's why the ILS and I don't get along

(Ps, none of the names I used are actually my inlaws names )

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 6555361
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 4:16 AM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

I get it. Some of XILs were my friends on FB but one SIL never did talk to me much, let alone be friends at any time. I'm sure she would be the same way as your ILs with Sven.

If she called the house for something, she asked for "my brother". If he wasn't there, she would ask for him to call her. On rare occasions, she might tell me something simple like a time change for an event, but never anything more "important".

I'd give up trying to figure it out. If you ever do, I'd worry about your thought process being like theirs.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 12:13 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

I'd give up trying to figure it out. If you ever do, I'd worry about your thought process being like theirs.

yes!

That's why it doesn't hurt me, it just makes me go

I just don't get some people. And that's ok! what a boring world it would be if we understood everyone, liked everyone, and didn't disagree with people!

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
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AgainandAgain ( member #34835) posted at 2:39 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

I had to reply to this posting as I can relate.

My cousin has been in and out of prison for almost 20 years of his life. He has stolen money, beat our grandmother for drug money, been convicted of a few felony's, is a known drug dealer, etc. The list goes on and on. In fact, he's been in prison again for the last year and will be there a little while longer. He was caught selling drugs in prison but you know, it's not HIS fault.

My family does not "friend" me on FB but everyone loves him and thinks he is the greatest person ever. They talk about how great he is, have welcome home parties for him (and there has been a lot haha). Even though he has stolen from every one of us and has even stolen a check from my grandmother and cashed it illegally. The police came after my grandmother, the bank is suing her and yet he is still the best ever.

Again, no one speaks to me because I'm not good enough

I was worried about what's wrong with me but now that I'm away from them all, I know I'm much better off.

It's not you, it's them

posts: 246   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 12:54 PM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Adding to the "it's not you, it's them" chorus.

My ILs treat me like a distasteful obligation and it hurts when I see that compared to that, my dad is loving to MrH despite all that he's done to me in our M. Yes, the ILs know...at least MIL knows.

The worst example though is on my side of the family. My mom, when listing her kids on FB to a friend she hasn't seen in awhile, listed my sister and her BF, my bro and his W (they were in the process of D), my half bro and my half sis and her H. Included were their kids and step kids.

Never mentioned me. Or my kids.

My sister, who is apparently now living with her with her BF and his teen/YA kids, left her H for her BF. Who also happens to be our cousin. Yup. I'm the one mom is ashamed of even while she watches her sister's son go to bed with her daughter every night.

Heck, even my SIL was mentioned and she was in the midst of a D because of an EA with her half cousin. Bro and SIL since R and had another child but my mom thinks that behavior is more acceptable than I am.

If people think crazy behavior is more acceptable than people who create boundaries, then IMO they have serious issues I'm better off avoiding.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 4:44 PM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

I am truly sorry you guys have to go through that stuff!!

One family member beat his grandmother, the other is in a relationship with a family member. Again & holly, wow, those are tough to deal with

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 6556719
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