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tesla posted 11/8/2013 23:18 PM

Ex-shat condescended to pick up his son tonight. I told him Teslet had been complaining of a headache and when I had last given him some tylenol. Fucker was so dismissive and rude to me.

I simultaneously wanted to laugh at his childishness and taunt him about how shitty his life must be. I wanted to ask him if he felt as stupid as he looked when we were in court last week. I wanted to ask him how it felt to sink deeper into delusion and watch reality fade away. I am not a cruel person...but my god, did I want to rub his face in his sad and pathetic life.

I have not been on this track of the roller coaster for quite some time...but this week, I've been all over the place emotionally.

I haven't cared about how he feels about shit in a long time...but tonight, I hope he is miserable and suffering. Damn, damn, damn...where is this hate coming from?
Oh well, I'm hating on him tonight...ftg and may he fall off the face of the earth.

sunsetslost posted 11/8/2013 23:49 PM

And keep falling. (((tesla)))

careerlady posted 11/8/2013 23:56 PM

You would think after all he put you through he could manage to be decent over a discussion about his son's headache. What a jerk, I'm so sorry you and Teslet have to deal with him.

SBB posted 11/9/2013 00:06 AM

Its all the contact Tesla (yes, court is contact), finding out about the engagement, all of the texts flying around - it IS crazy-making.

And the fact that teslet isn't well - I hate it when my girls are not with me when they are unwell. HATE IT.

Your life will become level again once this shit is sorted and he goes back into his box. If he never goes back into his box you will adjust and reach a new level of level, IYKWIM.

I've spiralled like this myself a few times - far less frequent and much shorter in duration each time. I call that progress. I haven't had one for many many months now.

He is doing this because you nailed him. Actually, he made it so easy he kind of nailed himself you just didn't lift a finger to stop him.

Take deep breaths and remind yourself this too shall pass. Things will settle once the court stuff is sorted and he gets this shit out of his system.

He'll try to pull whatever fuckery he can - I've learned to stop trying to predict it and also stop bracing myself for it. He can do things to irritate me but he can't really impact my life in a material way anymore. Neither can Asshat. These are the death throes as I purge him from the deepest parts of my soul.

Leave him to his pitiful show. You're boxing shadows right now - he's got nothing on you. NOTHING.

I hope your Teslet feels better soon.

((tesla & teslet))

inconnu posted 11/9/2013 08:47 AM

(((tesla))) I agree, I think it's just because of all the contact. You've had to get back on the crazy train, temporarily. Just remember, the train is at the station, and you will get off of it before it departs. Otoh, the ex-shat is destined to stay on that train forever.

caregiver9000 posted 11/9/2013 09:09 AM

For me, court alone would be enough to put me on a roller coaster ride. I hate court. I hate the feeling like a child being scolded for doing "something" wrong. I hate the dirty feel of the building and the stale air and the condescension that abounds. UGH!

I sympathize with the emotional toll. (((hugs)))

And may he fall off the face of the earth... and have a rather nasty "landing." It is the impact that gets 'em, not the fall.

Nature_Girl posted 11/9/2013 09:53 AM

I think you need to smudge stick yourself.

nowiknow23 posted 11/9/2013 10:12 AM

Hope you're feeling better today, tesla.

((((hugs))))

IrishLass518 posted 11/9/2013 10:14 AM

He's trying to control you, prove that he has some power still. He is failing miserably and you are fighting back. So he pushes harder. He knows he has lost before he even began. It is frustrating.

tesla posted 11/9/2013 21:16 PM

Yes, feeling much better today. I desperately need to decompress and I think I managed that today.

I wish he would crawl back into his box. I mean, come on, life must be awesome...he's engaged to the love of his life. He should be over the moon with happiness, how could he possibly even have the energy to be rude to me? I shouldn't even matter anymore, he's living the life he left me for!

I hope stripper whore turns on the bridezilla soon and gives ex-shat something else to focus on.

SBB posted 11/10/2013 00:04 AM

I mean, come on, life must be awesome.

Yeppers. One of my war cries comes to mind: "Dude, show your dick some respect and at least TRY to pretend your life is better this way.".

Really, its they least they could do if they just won't stay invisible....

Nature_Girl posted 11/10/2013 00:08 AM

Bridezilla!!!!!!!!!!

sparkysable posted 11/10/2013 13:11 PM

Maybe he was dismissive and rude because he was mad that stripperwhore didn't appreciate the stripper pole that he installed in their living room

Who knows why he's a shit? But I promise you, his life is shitty. Every part of it, including the voice in his head...is shitty.