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Dabbling in dating and nerves

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Phoenix1 posted 11/9/2013 02:37 AM

I know my M was just legally dissolved last month, but the reality is that my marriage has been over for about five years and we were basically roommates. That being said, I have been dabbling in OLD as I would really like to find someone to do things with after feeling alone for the last five years, but every time I start engaging in online conversations I start feeling really nervous. Is this because I have been out of the game for almost 30 years? I have been chatting with someone who seems very nice and it may result in a first meeting soon, but geez oh man I am so freaking nervous!

Any tips? Thoughts?

Blackhair posted 11/9/2013 04:18 AM

You are not alone here. It is true that we are out of the dating thing for too long. Also it is a good thing you are nervous or have the butterfly again which is nice in a way at least in my opinion.

I am very conservation or old fashioned too, so I won't date/ meet anyone after I chatted online for a while and by the time I meet the guy I kind of know him a bit.

Same time be very careful to give out your identity or contact number.
Google online what is the best conversation for first date.

Meeting/ dating is fun and exciting simply enjoy it, but always be prepared for the worst so you don't get disappointed, as some guy will simply disappear after meeting you for the first time.

Again you also might meet a great guy too.

Good luck!

fireproof posted 11/9/2013 08:27 AM

I might be in the minority but I would go into every potential date with the expectation to meet a new friend.

I would also trust your instincts and make sure you meet them out.

Time is really the only factor to tell if someone is genuine (there is no guarantee).

Most importantly branch out and enjoy yourself. You might learn new things about yourself

better4me posted 11/9/2013 12:42 PM

but every time I start engaging in online conversations I start feeling really nervous. Is this because I have been out of the game for almost 30 years

Yep, that nervousness just goes with the territory! After 2 years of dating I still get nervous, but now it isn't "really" nervous--just slightly nervous. It helps knowing that the person you are meeting is usually nervous too.

Tips: lower your expectations. People are often different in person than they are on line. Go into the first "meeting" (rather than calling it a "date") with the hopes of meeting someone interesting and having an enjoyable conversation. That really helps me to reduce my nerves a little bit--not expecting to meet "the one". Meet at a public spot for coffee or lunch or a drink. Get there a little early so you can pick a good place to see him enter. Keep the first meeting rather short--an hour or so rather than extending it too long. Smile. Have a couple of conversational topics in mind so you don't have to think of things on the "fly".

And most important have fun with this new opportunity!!

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