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What.The.Hell is *This*???!!!???

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 gonnabe2016 (original poster member #34823) posted at 3:45 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

It seems that stbx is seeking relationship advice from a website.

Here is the introduction to one of the *products* that he has looked at:

*****It is a simple set of easy-to-use tools designed to make any woman's pussy wet, horny with lust and ready to fuck. It can make a woman sleep with you if she's not physically attracted, or even if she hates you right now. Therefore you must agree to the following:

You are strongly encouraged to use <xxx> in an ethical manner. You should not break up happy relationships, or marriages, even if she is begging you for sex.

Be prepared for possible attachment. This trick is based on cutting edge psychology to engage her deepest emotion and innermost fantasies. She WILL become addicted to you.

You are strongly encouraged to check her ID before engaging in any sexual activity. Because this trick makes her extremely horny, she may lie about her age in order to sleep with you.*****

O.M.G!!! This guy already has an *issue* with respecting women. So what does he do??? He finds a *method* that actually encourages him to and teaches him how to further disrespect and objectify them??? Wow. That is 1500 degrees of HOT MESS!!! Yuck.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6555795
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HeartInADustpan ( member #38341) posted at 3:50 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

posts: 379   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2013   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6555797
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selkiescot ( member #23777) posted at 3:53 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Good grief. Sounds like something a horny desperate 15 year old would buy.

[This message edited by selkiescot at 9:54 AM, November 9th (Saturday)]

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

posts: 1411   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2009   ·   location: CT
id 6555802
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KBeguile ( member #38348) posted at 3:55 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Just reading it, it makes me think of all the promises of "Spanish Fly" wrapped up in an Internet Infomercial.

Maybe the visual of the commercial can feature your STBX as one of those "horribly incompetent Informercial actors" who can't do anything right?

Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 7yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2016/02/19

posts: 824   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2013   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6555807
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twokids ( member #23266) posted at 3:57 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Im so sorry, what an awful shock you have endured. Your heart must have sank when you found this. You deserve better.

I dont know the full context of the web page that you found, but this is kind of scary, like keep your distance from this guy scary.

Me: BS, 56
Him: WH, 50
5+ DDAYS; 10+ OW
Two sons, 16 & 18
M 19 yrs - detaching to divorce
In-house Separation since 7/2012

posts: 393   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2009   ·   location: California
id 6555808
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 4:07 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Okay...first cup of coffee here...the gears aren't up to speed and I can't resist - so bear with me...

I think this is hysterical!!! And so incredibly, pathetically, lame - to think a grown ass man is even looking at this!!! I mean seriously how low can you go!??

This is how I'm looking at the text:

"It is a simple set of easy-to-use tools designed to make any woman's pussy wet, horny with lust and ready to fuck..."

oops hit send (like I said still foggy)

And the 1st tool is....? A pail of water (laced with feline hormones - that makes a cat go into heat). Hide your cats ladies! And beware of anyone stalking the neighborhood with a bucket of water!!!

2nd tool - a rubber mallet (so when the cat owner comes out to rescue sweet Sasha from the alley cat... she'll end up "sleeping" with you even if she hates you.) Okay - that is sick! (Coffee must be kicking in).

But I'm still picturing the Sultan (dressed in orange and pink silken robes with a waxed handle bar mustachio) stalking the neighborhood with a bucket of water and a rubber mallet: Here pussy, pussy!

Knew he was a loser, gonnabe - but now he is forever in my mind - a caricature of a loser!!

PS I reserve the right to kill this post when the coffee kicks in all the way - Meanwhile

[This message edited by Take2 at 10:34 AM, November 9th (Saturday)]

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6555820
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sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 4:21 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

I was going to attempt to make a post in reply - but because there is just *SO MUCH* wrong with this - I don't even know where to start! I'm just struck dumb..and that doesn't happen often.

...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

posts: 2598   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2010   ·   location: UK
id 6555830
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:27 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Sweet fancy Moses.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6555837
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Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 5:59 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Ummm, yeah...

I'm guessing it'll work as well as the X-ray glasses you got for sending in box tops...

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: A better place
id 6555932
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allusions ( member #25376) posted at 6:06 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

I am picturing a cross between a shamwow and a "perfect polly" informercial. The Perfect Sham Pussy...

You can apologize over and over, but if your actions don't change, your words become meaningless.

Behind every crazy bitch is a sweet girl who just got tired of being lied to.

I've found the key to happiness: Stay away from assholes.

posts: 1979   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2009   ·   location: California Central Coast
id 6555944
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Clearview ( member #29565) posted at 6:13 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha, as I spit tea everywhere. And then some more @ "Sham Pussy".

posts: 166   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2010
id 6555949
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 6:14 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

WTF????

Oh yeah, it's Sultan.

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 6555952
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 6:15 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

posts: 12227   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6555953
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 gonnabe2016 (original poster member #34823) posted at 6:22 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

.....and you all should see the *testimonials* from other people. They've never had more sex. They have women falling all over them, etc.etc.

Dude is a serial-cheater. He, pretty obviously, doesn't have a problem *getting* women.

This is just f'n creepy as hell. *THAT* guy has 'influence' over my boys. God.Help.Them.

Thing is....from the outside, stbx looks like a *great* catch, but underneath that shiny, successful looking exterior? He's scary. Not violent-scary, but definitely BAITER-scary.

Guess that proves the saying that you can put lipstick on a pig, but underneath all that *prettiness* -- it's still a pig.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6555957
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 gonnabe2016 (original poster member #34823) posted at 6:25 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Your responses are cracking me up......

****But I'm still picturing the Sultan (dressed in orange and pink silken robes with a waxed handle bar mustachio) stalking the neighborhood with a bucket of water and a rubber mallet: Here pussy, pussy!****

****WTF???? Oh yeah, it's Sultan**** (isn't it lovely how he continues to embrace his username? )

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6555961
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Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 6:30 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

The Perfect Sham Pussy...

Omg I can't stoo giggling. The bucket of water had me in stitches too.

Gonnabe he's living up to his repuation, I'm sorry you had to be subjected to it.


posts: 3615   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012
id 6555971
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Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 6:36 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Reading between the lines "it doesn't matter how ugly and douchy you are - you too can trick a woman into sleeping with your sad ass. Call now and we will include some Roofies for free". Wow. Men buying this should have to wear a warning label.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6555979
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eachdayisvictory ( member #40462) posted at 6:37 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

barf

morons

me, BW: 37
FWH: 38
together 19 years, M 13 years
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 6 and 9
Reconciled

posts: 530   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2013   ·   location: nova Scotia, Canada
id 6555981
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 6:38 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

This is all kinds of weird. Kind of like the ads that make a man with a 6 " penis can sprinkle some miracle grow and it become a "gut-busting" huge-mungus porn penis. Ad shows women Lying on the bed exhausted , with the man proudly standing over her with his hand on his hip.....I can't believe grown men think this shit is real..

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6555986
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 gonnabe2016 (original poster member #34823) posted at 6:48 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Good to hear that I'm not the only one that finds this ridiculous and creepy....considering the fact that I'm judgy and self-righteous

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6555995
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