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What.The.Hell is *This*???!!!???

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gonnabe2016 posted 11/9/2013 09:45 AM

It seems that stbx is seeking relationship advice from a website.

Here is the introduction to one of the *products* that he has looked at:

*****It is a simple set of easy-to-use tools designed to make any woman's pussy wet, horny with lust and ready to fuck. It can make a woman sleep with you if she's not physically attracted, or even if she hates you right now. Therefore you must agree to the following:
You are strongly encouraged to use <xxx> in an ethical manner. You should not break up happy relationships, or marriages, even if she is begging you for sex.
Be prepared for possible attachment. This trick is based on cutting edge psychology to engage her deepest emotion and innermost fantasies. She WILL become addicted to you.
You are strongly encouraged to check her ID before engaging in any sexual activity. Because this trick makes her extremely horny, she may lie about her age in order to sleep with you.*****

O.M.G!!! This guy already has an *issue* with respecting women. So what does he do??? He finds a *method* that actually encourages him to and teaches him how to further disrespect and objectify them??? Wow. That is 1500 degrees of HOT MESS!!! Yuck.

HeartInADustpan posted 11/9/2013 09:50 AM

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

selkiescot posted 11/9/2013 09:53 AM

Good grief. Sounds like something a horny desperate 15 year old would buy.

[This message edited by selkiescot at 9:54 AM, November 9th (Saturday)]

KBeguile posted 11/9/2013 09:55 AM

Just reading it, it makes me think of all the promises of "Spanish Fly" wrapped up in an Internet Infomercial.

Maybe the visual of the commercial can feature your STBX as one of those "horribly incompetent Informercial actors" who can't do anything right?

twokids posted 11/9/2013 09:57 AM

Im so sorry, what an awful shock you have endured. Your heart must have sank when you found this. You deserve better.

I dont know the full context of the web page that you found, but this is kind of scary, like keep your distance from this guy scary.

Take2 posted 11/9/2013 10:07 AM

Okay...first cup of coffee here...the gears aren't up to speed and I can't resist - so bear with me...

I think this is hysterical!!! And so incredibly, pathetically, lame - to think a grown ass man is even looking at this!!! I mean seriously how low can you go!??

This is how I'm looking at the text:

"It is a simple set of easy-to-use tools designed to make any woman's pussy wet, horny with lust and ready to fuck..."

oops hit send (like I said still foggy)

And the 1st tool is....? A pail of water (laced with feline hormones - that makes a cat go into heat). Hide your cats ladies! And beware of anyone stalking the neighborhood with a bucket of water!!!

2nd tool - a rubber mallet (so when the cat owner comes out to rescue sweet Sasha from the alley cat... she'll end up "sleeping" with you even if she hates you.) Okay - that is sick! (Coffee must be kicking in).

But I'm still picturing the Sultan (dressed in orange and pink silken robes with a waxed handle bar mustachio) stalking the neighborhood with a bucket of water and a rubber mallet: Here pussy, pussy!

Knew he was a loser, gonnabe - but now he is forever in my mind - a caricature of a loser!!

PS I reserve the right to kill this post when the coffee kicks in all the way - Meanwhile

[This message edited by Take2 at 10:34 AM, November 9th (Saturday)]

sinsof thefather posted 11/9/2013 10:21 AM

I was going to attempt to make a post in reply - but because there is just *SO MUCH* wrong with this - I don't even know where to start! I'm just struck dumb..and that doesn't happen often.

nowiknow23 posted 11/9/2013 10:27 AM

Sweet fancy Moses.

Clarrissa posted 11/9/2013 11:59 AM

Ummm, yeah...

I'm guessing it'll work as well as the X-ray glasses you got for sending in box tops...

allusions posted 11/9/2013 12:06 PM

I am picturing a cross between a shamwow and a "perfect polly" informercial. The Perfect Sham Pussy...

Clearview posted 11/9/2013 12:13 PM

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha, as I spit tea everywhere. And then some more @ "Sham Pussy".

DeadMumWalking posted 11/9/2013 12:14 PM


Oh yeah, it's Sultan.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 11/9/2013 12:15 PM

gonnabe2016 posted 11/9/2013 12:22 PM

.....and you all should see the *testimonials* from other people. They've never had more sex. They have women falling all over them, etc.etc.

Dude is a serial-cheater. He, pretty obviously, doesn't have a problem *getting* women.

This is just f'n creepy as hell. *THAT* guy has 'influence' over my boys. God.Help.Them.

Thing is....from the outside, stbx looks like a *great* catch, but underneath that shiny, successful looking exterior? He's scary. Not violent-scary, but definitely BAITER-scary.

Guess that proves the saying that you can put lipstick on a pig, but underneath all that *prettiness* -- it's still a pig.

gonnabe2016 posted 11/9/2013 12:25 PM

Your responses are cracking me up......

****But I'm still picturing the Sultan (dressed in orange and pink silken robes with a waxed handle bar mustachio) stalking the neighborhood with a bucket of water and a rubber mallet: Here pussy, pussy!****

****WTF???? Oh yeah, it's Sultan**** (isn't it lovely how he continues to embrace his username? )

Unagie posted 11/9/2013 12:30 PM

The Perfect Sham Pussy...

Omg I can't stoo giggling. The bucket of water had me in stitches too.

Gonnabe he's living up to his repuation, I'm sorry you had to be subjected to it.

Tripletrouble posted 11/9/2013 12:36 PM

Reading between the lines "it doesn't matter how ugly and douchy you are - you too can trick a woman into sleeping with your sad ass. Call now and we will include some Roofies for free". Wow. Men buying this should have to wear a warning label.

eachdayisvictory posted 11/9/2013 12:37 PM



Ostrich80 posted 11/9/2013 12:38 PM

This is all kinds of weird. Kind of like the ads that make a man with a 6 " penis can sprinkle some miracle grow and it become a "gut-busting" huge-mungus porn penis. Ad shows women Lying on the bed exhausted , with the man proudly standing over her with his hand on his hip.....I can't believe grown men think this shit is real..

gonnabe2016 posted 11/9/2013 12:48 PM

Good to hear that I'm not the only one that finds this ridiculous and creepy....considering the fact that I'm judgy and self-righteous

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