I'm a slow healer. Really slow. It took me years to go full NC. But I'm finally there.
Brief back story: EX was asked to resign as an assistant principal back in Feb. because of innapropriate activity on the company computer network. (stupid dumbass!) So after that he because a bartender full time while trying to find some kind of real job. He finally got lucky and found some stupid, sucker friend of his to hire him as a teacher at a Charter school. (Public schools won't touch him.) The school is far from his apt. and far from the kid's school so he isn't taking them overnights much at all anymore because of when he has to be to work and all the driving, etc.
So anyway, on Wednesday he send me a text saying that he would like to see the kids for a few hours on Friday night even though it was my weekend. I told him that I had tentative plans but would get back with him. I had plans to take the kids to a school fair so I asked them if they would prefer that Daddy take them instead of me. They said no.
So I had the following text conversation with him yesterday:
Ex: I'm assuming that you have plans for tonight since I haven't heard from you. Can I please see them boys on Monday? (Monday is a day off for him and them because of Veterans day but I had also taken the day off myself so that I can spend the day with them.)
Me: I took the day off on Monday so I could spend the day with the boys.
Ex: I started to type something out but then I realized that you don't care.
Ex: Sorry it didn't work out. Tell them I said good luck at their soccer game tomorrow.
Normally, I would have gone into explanations about how not seeing the kids was his choice because he left us and I would have tried to explain the divorce decree and defend myself. He would have most likely fired back something hateful and I would have cried the whole night. It was hard not to respond, even a small part of me felt sorry for him. But I remained detached. I'm really proud of me. It may not seem like much but this is real progress for me.
it also shines some light on how *not* happy he is despite what he says to everyone else.
Sorry dude. You chose to move so far from your kids. You got asked to resign because you couldn't keep your pants zipped. Sorry that prevents you from taking full advantage of your visitation. No my problem.