We have a recurring little issue... I start to feel pretty good and things are normalish and fun... H forgets the pain I'm in and behaves as if there is not a river of hurt in me... I feel scared and abandoned and break down... he feels like shit for "forgetting"... I feel angry and sad that his memory is so short... etc.
So... we have an 8yo in a full leg cast (it's correctional, she's having a relapse of a bith defect). She is the bravest, happiest little girl ever. And sometimes I forget how hard it really is for her.
She and her 3 sisters are all on the swim team and obviously she can't swim right now. I've been just dropping the others off, never watching, to make it easier on the 8yo.
Wellll, I really wanted to watch on Wednesday for various reasons and without fully considering her feelings, I brought casty to the pool to watch her sisters practice. She was in her wheel chair and seemed ok until the kids jumped in the pool. All of a sudden, silent tears streamed down her face. I felt like the biggest ass in the world. We went home and played wii and she recovered.
How could I, her MOTHER have done that?? Just because she acts brave does NOT mean that she isn't sad inside.
And yet I expect my H to never forget my hurt. My invisible (not fluorescent pink, full leg cast) that I'm usually so brave about, hurt.
I understand now. It doesn't make the forgetting ok but at least I can empathize with how it happens.