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Newest Member: looking4sanity (55720)

User Topic: Trigger vs Gut
♀ 40921
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you know if its just a trigger, or if its your gut and its time to listen? We've had a good week. WH continues to do everything to work towards R. Big and little changes, and I am verifying as much as I can.

I leave in a few days for a month for work. I can't tell if my unease is due to that, or if there's something else going in that I am missing. I realize it could just be nerves about leaving, and worrying that we are getting too comfortable too quickly. But I don't want to be naive and miss something else.

DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 40474
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...worrying that we are getting too comfortable too quickly

I read your profile. He's taught you to mistrust him. He had a 5 year A and additional ONS. It's too soon to trust him imho--you might end up never trusting him fully. Even trust but verify begs the question of trust. We've learned that lesson the hard way.

For me, WH doing big and little changes are done out of fear that I'll boot him out, although he does have flashes of insight (but they don't stay with him very long). For us, DDay, and TT (DDay#2) feel very recent to me.

A trigger for me is something "concrete" that reminds me of his A or of our M, like a song with words of promise and fidelity, or seeing him be polite to a female who has the same coloring and body-type as the slut.

My gut feeling is an intuition, absent of anything concrete.

DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)

Posts: 576 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: U.S.A.
♀ 40699
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea and I struggle with this myself. It seems my gut has been all thrown off balance. I get feelings all the time but then find nothing when I search. When we were separated I was so sure he had someone over three different times but when I drove by....he was alone. I did however feel he was talking to someone after I told him I wanted a divorce and I was right about that one.

Me BS 33 Him WS 37
Together 6 years, married almost 4 years
D-day: 07/23/13 EA with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out about a past kiss
D-day: 05/30/16 Saw first text message from new COW
D-day: 09-08-16 Dr. Fone confirmed EA

Posts: 1206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Topic Posts: 3

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