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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Divorce/Separation :
Worried about health-hugs needed

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 gardens64 (original poster member #38449) posted at 11:33 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Hi all,

I don't post here much but I have benefited so much from the wise posts here. I am slowly working through divorce due to husband's infidelity and repeated trickle truth. I'm a SAHM for the past five years and having a hard time finding work. Still doing in-house not enough $$ to move out yet.

I've been doing all the "right" things, therapy, exercise, socializing, getting support. I started exercising more and found blood in my stool and have started having digestive discomfort. Already made an appt with my doctor. Rationally it's probably the consequences of two pregnancies, ladies will know what I mean. But I just am terrified it might be something serious. My grandmother had colon cancer in late 40's. I just had some serious health problems a year ago. I really need to be healthy right now to get through this. I have two young kids. Haven't I been through enough? Dr appt next week, haven't told any of my relatives yet. It's just weighing on my mind so heavily...

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Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 11:40 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

I'm so sorry for you to have an additional burden. You have taken all of the right actions. Hugs, Garden.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6556181
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Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 11:48 PM on Saturday, November 9th, 2013

((((Gardens64))))

I hope everything turns out well. Its so good that you're taking care of yourself.


posts: 3615   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 12:48 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

(((((gardens))))) Sending you strength and tons of healthy mojo, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6556255
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:54 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

(((HUGS)))

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6556265
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dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 2:05 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

You are doing the right thing in seeing your doc.

Have you ever had a test for occult blood in stool?

Bright red blood can be due to many minor issues and is usually not serious, but you are taking the right step forward.

Wishing you all the best.

Try not to worry too much.

Sending huge hugs.

~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)

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id 6556311
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 3:11 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Millions of hugs to you.

You're right. It's probably not anything ominous. But you're wise to have it checked out. Early detection is key, should there be any issues.

(Still, 2 babies...it's likely exactly what you think it is.)

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6556368
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 4:04 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Sending you healthy mojo. You have been doing everything you can to help this have a good result. Hopefully a very easy fix. You're so smart not to wait. (((Garden64)))

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 6556400
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 gardens64 (original poster member #38449) posted at 4:24 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Thanks so much guys. I needed that. dreamlife, I have not had that type of test. It will most likely be minor I know. It's just hard to have to wait, and be thinking about yet something else. My WH has great health insurance and we are civil enough to extend that right now even if we get the rest of separation in place. I have a great doctor.

It is weird to not be sharing this with WH. I am thinking about what to do if I need a procedure under sedation. Another layer in the grieving process.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2013
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numbandnauseous ( member #34525) posted at 4:44 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

gardens - hugs to you. So sorry you are going through a health scare in addition to your WH's infidelity.

I don't know how old you are, but definitely mention your grandmother's history of early colon cancer to your doc.

Procedures they might do:

hemoccult cards - you take these cards home and smear your stool on them and take them back so they can see if there is any blood in the stool that you can't see (meaning coming from higher up in the colon/digestive tract).

anoscopy - a small, torpedo-shaped instrument they insert to see if they can see anything in the rectum.

Probably with your family history, a colonoscopy would be the best way to go - under sedation, they insert a tube with a camera on it and look at your entire colon to rule out colon cancer. Some places have pills that you swallow that have the ability to look at your colon as well.

But, as everyone has said, with 2 pregnancies, it is probably nothing major. So glad you are taking care of yourself and having it checked out. Great to hear that you have a fantastic doctor and you have good health insurance.

As for not sharing with WH, that is tough. Have you been able to share it with family or close friends? Do you have someone that will be able to drive you and pick you up if you need to have a procedure done?

BS (me) - 50
WH - 58, EA with HS GF x 2, now deceased
M: 15 years, T: 20, divorced
2 teenage children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)

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id 6556424
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careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 5:26 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

(((HUG))))

Statistics are on your side! I see people with blood in their stools all the time and it is usually just hemorrhoids. I'm sorry for all you're going through!

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 7:07 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

(((((gardens64))))) So sorry that you are going through a health scare. I'm glad you have an appointment with your doctor. Continue to do all the "right" things and lean on us for support. Please keep us updated if you can. Hugs hugs and one more hug!

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 8:32 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Sending big hugs and a TMI PM.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

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 gardens64 (original poster member #38449) posted at 3:51 PM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Thanks again for all the support! It helps put it in perspective. Yes I wont be surprised if I get colonoscopy, good times! My brother could take me or my uncle in a pinch. I don't want to say anything until I have a better idea of what's going on. It is a tad private.

I know even in the worst case it would likely to be early detection and that is ideal. I already have a great GI doc who did an endoscopy last year, and wanted me to find out exactly when my grandfather had the cancer so I could do early screening if needed.

I will keep you updated. Thanks again for the virtual hugs I really needed them :)

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Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 4:09 PM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Have them check for ulcers. If it is, most often meds can fix the problem. I have extensive knowledge in this aeea, pm me if this is the cause.

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 8:25 PM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Sending you healthy mojo!

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6556874
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 gardens64 (original poster member #38449) posted at 4:50 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

Hi guys! I went to the dr and, well, it looks like it is most likely those things you need preparation H for! Lovely. They tested for blood in stool and for anemia. I got some medicine to shrink them and follow up in a month. Whew. Embarrassing but I feel much better.

Thanks again for all of your great thoughts. I'm switching to walking until things heal up.

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sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 4:58 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

((((gardens64))). We are here for you

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

posts: 800   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2013   ·   location: The beach.
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gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 7:36 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

So happy you got good news! I'm going through a health scare too and it sucks!

Glad yours proved to be nothing serious. Take good care of yourself while you heal.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 12:44 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013

So glad to hear you got good news!

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6564539
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