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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Divorce/Separation :
Kids birthday

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 khrisdeus (original poster new member #41265) posted at 1:57 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Today was probably one of my lowest points in my entire life. Since both of our children have November birthdays, we combine them into one party. It was the first time WW and I have seen each other since Thursday night, which was also when I revealed I had plans to see an attorney. It was civil for the most part but the tension was horrible. She took off last night with the kids and didn't show up with them until 10 minutes before their own party, told me I didn't love my children enough to safeguard them from an ugly divorce, because I hired an attorney. She told me she was moving 90 minutes away when she gets her next paycheck, and when I asked if I could have my kids tonight I was told "we'll see" I don't understand why she is being so hateful. She's the one who cheated, and she's the one who wanted a divorce. I'm just giving her what she wants, why be hateful at our children's birthday party. I've never felt lower in my life than I did today.

posts: 44   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6556304
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 2:14 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

She is mentally & emotionally unwell. I'll use a phrase with you that I used with someone else here recently: She is not a safe parent. Not now. She is acting out and, did I read correctly in your other thread, she's drinking buckets as well?

Listen carefully, my friend. You must protect those children. I want you to insist on a parenting evaluation - YOU PICK THAT EVALUATOR - with a psychological evaluation as part of it. This is gonna cost you thousands of dollars, but it's the only thing that's gonna protect those kids.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6556320
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 2:16 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

I'm sorry she had to ruin the kids' b-day. She sounds like a really selfish, self-entitled well... brat actually. She is using anger (and the kids) to try to control and manipulate you... I would talk to the atty. about this asap. Because, typically, from what I read here - the S who moves away has to transport the kids back and forth for visitation... when she learns that I'm betting she holds her breath till she turns blue in the face!

((khrisdeus))

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6556321
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 khrisdeus (original poster new member #41265) posted at 2:40 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Yes, prior to the PA/EA she would drink 3 or 4 times a year, now it's 3 or 4 times a week. I'm just hurt and confused. Hurt she would do that at their party, and confused because she wants the divorce, I'm finally giving her what she wants.

posts: 44   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6556337
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 khrisdeus (original poster new member #41265) posted at 2:51 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

I forgot to mention, she brought them home today in the same clothes I sent them to school in yesterday :(

posts: 44   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6556349
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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 3:25 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Wait, WTF? Why is she given the automatic right to take them from the family home without an awarding of custody. No way that can be legal. It sounds like you need to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Document every move she makes. Everything the kids do with who and when. She is NOT just given the right to uproot them from the home. Trust me on that on. Been there done that. If she wants to move, she's welcome to do that, just not with the kids. A term you are going to learn is "in the best interests of the children". That's what the courts are going to look at, and what she is offering to provide is in no way, that. You may need to get the police involved, but if she wants to have them for the weekend, that's probably ok. It's when she tries to move them that you need to consider it. TALK TO YOUR LAWYER. Explain the situation. She's tying to bully you into submission.

Strength

BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle

posts: 5670   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6556380
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 3:32 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Very typical behavior, actually. The Dooosh was furious when I filed and hired my attorney. FURIOUS. He cheated. He wanted his COW. He wanted to leave our home, but I was the one who was a bitch, I was the one who was "going to be sorry".

Start protecting yourself and your kids. You have to keep reminding yourself that she is no longer your friend.

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6556384
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:39 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

khris - Do you have a VAR yet?

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6556386
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 khrisdeus (original poster new member #41265) posted at 6:58 AM on Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Yes, I have a VAR, which she says makes her feel like a prisoner in her own home.... I'm filing for emergency temporary custody Tuesday

posts: 44   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6556481
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