whyme1525, there are some good articles that address your question in The Healing Library (yellow box upper left corner)
One related article is titled, Joseph's Letter:
Another related article is titled, What the WS/BS Must Do to Reconcile:
my question is isn't it normal to.talk about the affair?
Not only is it normal, it's critical to your healing and beginning R.
As a side note, it may be more helpful to ask your question by starting a new topic. You are likely to get more responses by doing that.
[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 7:51 PM, November 10th (Sunday)]