I never really know how to write about my journey here. It's so complex and evolving that I feel like I would have to write a novel! But it would be nice to get support - I read posts here all the time and it helps me. I've posted a few times. My long term issues revolve all around boundaries. I've finally put up strict boundaries and it has helped a lot - believe it or not, I only just asked for the keys to my house back from him and it's been...2 years since he moved out?! Every time I tried to set boundaries I would let myself get sucked back in. Not this time. I have ignored his texts so successfully he has stopped trying. I just can't wait to get him out of my head. I know I'm not on his mind.
My new and somewhat refreshing issue is how to tell a man I am not interested in him. It's refreshing because I never thought I would get asked out on a date at all. I really didn't expect a second date so it caught me off guard and I agreed to a movie with him tonight. It's been so long - how do you tell a very nice person there just isn't any chemistry for you? Is it too cowardly to just not answer his calls? I try to think of how I would like to get the brush off, and I think it would hurt more to hear the words. I don't know.
I wish I wasn't in this position at all. Here I am almost 50 years old trying to start over. I thought I had received God's gift of a husband...turned out he felt he was God's gift to all women. He still does - my last conversation with him was after he broke up with the OW because, he told her, "I like a lot of women as much as I like you." How do I know this? No boundaries. He also told me he won't commit to any woman because he can love more than one at a time. This was the conversation where I asked for my keys back and literally said, "Have a nice life," and haven't seen him since. Go, me!