I'm sorry but the "can't control what other people do" phrase irritates me. Because the problem usually isn't what other people do, but how our SO reacts to it.
For instance, in MrH's case, I would have loved for him to tell the guy "I'm M and have eyes only for my W." Then tell me and either let me see or delete it depending on what we decided together. Instead, he left it there, never thinking id look because it's a phone from another country and useless here.
I'm sure you would prefer your H clued in and saw that the betrayal is still too raw...if it will ever come time to joke about that again. That he had some distaste about what the whole exchange implied. And that your heart is more precious to him than a pic of some random chicky his friend sent. Even that he would want to seek friends that respect their M enough not to take pics like this unless the W knows and is ok with it.
I say that too much in our current social world goes down the slippery slope because we don't want to appear to be prudes, or a buzz-kill.
ITA- if more people were brave and stood up for cherishing their M, at the very least it would better their M. At the most it would begin to change the world around them because of a "new" perspective. It's ok to love, honor, cherish and respect your spouse and M.
[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 6:47 AM, November 11th (Monday)]