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HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 1:26 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
I bought a, um, supportive undergarment. Similar to spanx.
The label instructs me, "DO NOT IRON".
WTF???????????? Who would iron a girdle? Why would they need to tell me that, for piss sake? Did someone try to iron one and sue the company?
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 1:55 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
HFSSC, you should listen to Bill Engvall's "Warning Signs". Things like don't change an engine belt while the motor is running, don't take Prep H orally, do not insert a curling iron into any orafice... These are *actual* warning labels and you have to wonder at the intelligence level of the person responsible for the warning.
Where I work, one of our packaging materials is VCI (volatile corrosion inhibiting) paper. As its name suggests, it slows down/prevents rust. The warning on it says "Do not use with foodstuffs". Ummm, I know there are foods high in iron but NOT so high there's a danger of them rusting. And if the iron content WAS that high, I sure as hell wouldn't eat it.
BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 2:18 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
Yeah, I've heard that bit by Engvall. It's hilarious.
I just read that label and was dumbfounded. Yours is pretty funny too.
I did see a label on some hairspray that cracked me up. It said something like, "Point can at head and depress the button... you know what? It's HAIR SPRAY. It's not rocket science. Spray it on your hair."
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 6:00 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
McDonald's coffee: Contents are hot.
Hmmm......whom would've thought coffee wouldn't be hot? O)h yeah, the woman who sued McDonald's because her coffee was hot.
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 10:04 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
On 2 Broke Girls there's this episode they go to an insurance company and the lady has to explain why they have to sign off on no liability injury papers. Her explanation is "Let me give you a for instance..." I imagine that everytime I read a stupid label and wonder who made them need to put it there.
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 10:41 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
I was astounded when I read that there were peanuts in my peanut butter....WHO KNEW????
And I'm not talking about an ingredient label... It was a warning...
[This message edited by broevil at 4:53 AM, November 11th (Monday)]
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 11:41 AM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
Thanks for the belly laugh this morning - these are all so funny! But I particularly love:
"Point can at head and depress the button... you know what? It's HAIR SPRAY. It's not rocket science. Spray it on your hair."
and;
don't change an engine belt while the motor is running,
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 2:02 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
My favourite was on my stroller there was a small mesh basket under the seat. It said something like "Not suitable for carrying a child". Really? Who tried that?
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
Snapdragon ( member #4286) posted at 2:12 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013

[This message edited by Snapdragon at 8:12 AM, November 11th (Monday)]
Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.
"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink
Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 2:23 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
Snapdragon, there is actually an episode of my strange addiction where a woman sleeps with her blowdryer on and hitting some part of her skin. She has woken up with burns and has scars but it comforts her like a security blanket.
Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 11:16 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
broevil, I've seen "caution" labels on cans/jars of nuts that said "Packaged in a facility that processes nuts. May contain peanuts." or some such thing. Really? Who'da thunk that a can/jar of nuts came from a nut processing facility?
But peanut butter having peanuts in it? Wow, I never would have thought...
BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:44 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
These all make me
.
Unagie, I saw that episode!
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:28 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
OMG, what are they CUTTING???
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:29 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
I guess this could hang up in your throat?
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:32 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
Another good reason not to give your dog whiskey sours ...
<eta> Especially if they'll be driving or mowing the lawn ... 
[This message edited by TrulyReconciled at 9:32 AM, November 12th (Tuesday)]
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:33 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
Uh ... no problem ...
(but, who DID this??)
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:35 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
You *know* somebody did this ...
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:35 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:38 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
R-i-g-h-t ...
Feed your kids to them ...
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 3:43 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
Only if you're REALLY stupid ...
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
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