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Yeah, I asked a few more questions

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Hope2B posted 11/11/2013 02:19 AM

This may be TMI, so please feel free to not read.

I asked for a few more details from WH. It's important for me to know, so I ask.

I knew he had his mouth between her legs, so this time I asked if they ever did "69" and he says yes. After "69", he would have "penetrative" genital sex versus getting a hand job or a BJ.

Then I ask if he ever washed his mustache after his mouth was *there*, before he came home and kissed me on the lips. He says yes, he washed his genitals and his hands and face, but didn't actually soap up his mustache, nor did he rinse out his mouth.

I asked him why he would do with her (often, over a 7 year period of time), that very thing that he didn't really like doing with me? He said she was "shaved" then corrected that to tell me she had a "runway" (i.e. landing strip).

Sarcasm from me--"Oh, so it's okay to do it with a slut because she has a landing strip!"

Then I ask "Do you think you were any good at it?" (i.e. cunnilingus) and he says she never said, but he figures he probably wasn't the best and probably wasn't the worst.

Sarcasm again from me: "I'll tell you right now that you certainly weren't the best." and then I add, "But oh, yeah, I almost forgot that you said you really enjoyed the sex and it was soooo good, and she sure was attractive!"

Sometimes, I just have to share by posting here, to share with others who understand.


chick posted 11/11/2013 02:58 AM

I get you with wanting the details - I keep getting strange things popping into my head too that must sound so bizarre when I ask them but they are important. Sometimes I wonder if I am just causing triggers for myself but then at the same time I don't want to do something with him in the same way that they did and him know it and me not.

Hope that having these answers helps you, it's so confusing trying to come to terms with it all, I hope you are doing OK.

LivinginLimbo posted 11/11/2013 08:46 AM

Another member of the 7 year LTA club here. My FWH also engaged in oral sex. Knowing it's something that he doesn't really care for, I asked why her. His answer "it was only a couple of times." it amazes me how he always minimizes the frequency of what they did as if that makes it better.

Like you, the fact remains that my FWH did something that he found distasteful with a whore. I guess it's all about continuing the free BJ's even it means eating a tuna sandwich (which he detests) from time to time.

mchercheur posted 11/11/2013 09:19 AM

This stuff gets me so angry.
I never even asked that question of WH, if he took a shower/washed his mouth before getting into our bed after seeing her. But you can be sure that I was the one who washed his underwear with the family laundry the next day. I was certainly the one who had been shopping for groceries(special ingredients)/preparing special meals for him (in addition to the food I was preparing for our 4 picky eaters) during the 3 months before his PA because he was on a diet.

What a violation of us!

And these sluts think nothing of intruding into a family, & our WHs don't protect us from them, even tho they took a vow to do so.

JanaGreen posted 11/11/2013 09:24 AM

I'm so sorry. Ugh. I'm really really sorry he let you down.

Lovedyoumore posted 11/11/2013 09:50 AM

I understand you needing to know. My H had a beard. On the PA DDay I made him shave it off immediately. At the time I just knew I could not look at it one more second. And, yes I needed to know what they did so I could find something they did not do that I could use and keep for myself. Sadly and to my sorrow there is nothing he did not do with the OW. In 12 weeks they did every position and act, including toys. I have nothing.

The OW is savy enough to know, thanks to newsstand magazines, how to keep and treat a man so they are bonded. Escalating sexual acts every time they are together keeps the oxytocin running up and keeps that bond going. One thing I really do not understand is how unkept the OW was, yet so enticing. I naturally have very little hair down there and it is easy to keep under control. The OW evidently was very hairy, up the front, out the sides, and up the back. No landing strip, just the whole jungle. Yep, that beard had to go.

Hope2B posted 11/11/2013 14:45 PM

Thanks, chick, LiL, mcher, Jana, LYM, I knew you'd all understand!

I needed to know what they did so I could find something they did not do that I could use and keep for myself. Sadly and to my sorrow there is nothing he did not do with the OW. In 12 weeks they did every position and act, including toys.

A big ME, TOO here...they did everything you mentioned above. There is not enough bleach and kerosene in the world to get rid of her on his skin or his lips.

I naturally have very little hair down there and it is easy to keep under control. I hear you, and am sparse as well, even on my arms/underarms and legs. I guess a landing strip was ever-so-exciting for him, and combined with his boner pills, he was Happy Hank for sure.

We used to say I love you, and the other would say I love you more. That's a bunch of crap now. When he says I love you --now only at night after we "talk"--I simply don't respond.

[This message edited by Hope2B at 2:47 PM, November 11th (Monday)]

mychild posted 11/11/2013 16:33 PM

Hi, keep asking questions. You will never know everything because you were not there, but keep asking. It's all hell. It's all horrible. But I know you need to know it no matter what. Integrity is everything. We married down. They were, are fortunate to have us and took advantage of us and disrespected us. My h wasted my youth, my life. It was mine to waste not his. My d day is last year and I still ask.... ((Hugs))

[This message edited by mychild at 4:34 PM, November 11th (Monday)]

Teach8 posted 11/11/2013 18:32 PM

Yup...7 year LTA too. Unfortunately, there is nothing left that feels special...especially in regards to sex. He did everything with her he does with me, except they had forbidden passion on their side, so it was even more exciting. No matter what he says or does, I just can't seem to get past that.

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