Um..ok. You kicked a ball and it bounced off the wall. You went upstairs,away from your child, and you knocked a few things of the counter and pushed a stool. You were angry. breaking a dish, throwing a ball,heck,even knocking things off the counter...Im sorry but I see this as understandable. You did not hit him..until he restrained you from getting your anger out..then you struck him.
As a former victim of rape, I HATE it when someone restrains me. WH did this a few times. I was NOT out of control. I WAS angry. I would be trying to walk away..and he would grab me and refuse to let me go. or I would be taking his clothes out of the closet..and he would restrain me physically.
NO! You do not have the right to put your hands on another person...unless that person is hurting themselves,someone else, or they are clearly out of control. You don't sound like you were out of control..just pissed off.
He is worried that your DD will hear? Oh..NOW is concerned about the child. Right.
It is not ok to hit him. But he needs to understand you will be angry..and if all you do is throw a few dishes,then he should consider himself lucky. Not that he should expect to be physically hurt,of course not. But throwing a few dishes? Understandable.
BUT...you can not do this around your kid. You know this. Of course. You need to find other ways to release your rage that won't involve her. Are you in IC?
Im not saying what you did was ok. But being angry and kicking a stool over? Pretty mild,IMO. His grabbing you..and the way you felt as a result..ugh..Im seeing red. That is a huge trigger for me. Being held down,not being able to have control of my own body...I can't handle that.
If his concern was for the child,he could have taken her for a walk. He did not have the right to hold you down and not allow you to move.
M: June 2001
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.