Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Anapa (61890)

User Topic: 2 years later, I made a connection
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While the ex was mid affair (and I was still in the dark), I came home one day and in the trash in the master bedroom was something red. I looked at it and knew that I didn't put it there. I didn't know what it was but knew that it didn't belong there. I knew it meant something bad, but I didn't know what at the time.
After dday, I knew that that piece of red something or other in the trash was significant but my mind could not make the connection.
Well, Saturday I purchased myself a little something at VS. I was not watching as she wrapped it and put it into the little bag. When I got home and opened the bag I saw my purchase wrapped in red tissue. I almost fell over - that is what had been in the trash before tissue from VS. I know it was. To think that that scummy OW brought VS stuff into my marital bedroom and had the gall to actually leave the wrapping in the trash. How vile and revolting and BALLSY.

Me - BW
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

Posts: 4057 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((nutmeg)))) Ugh, honey. I'm so sorry.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40250 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 34722
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry, NMK. I'm having these realizations too. Some go back much farther. Grrrrrr

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 3899 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sucks, Meg. Now that we know all the facts about these cheating fuckers, we know that they aren't even good at it! They just had the "good fortune" of being married to someone who trusted them.

Me: 1970
Two sons: 2000 and 2003
Cheating louse: What's her name again?

Married Aug/95
DDay Nov/12
Separated Mar/13
Finally divorced Jul/17

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♀ 29826
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yuck. I've made a few of these connections over the years. I suppose it is part of the 'game' of the AP - leave something 'innocent' enough for the BS to stumble on, something that could probably either be over looked, or rationally explained, but knowing that it would trip the BS radar. Rather a passive aggressive 'calling card'. Such a-holes, tsk.

Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file

Posts: 1522 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Ingersoll Ontario
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Long hairs on my couch. Found them for years. I have shoulder length hair, no-one I know has long hair. OWUmpteen has long hair (she wasn't even DD OW).

I told myself they must be have been brought home by my girls from the daycare carers. Y'know, because even though their hair is tied up that's still a reasonable reason.......

So many others but I can't be arsed making a list. I hate making connections. Necessary, but I hate it.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 6017 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 29368
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those random connections happen to me all the time. I Have a really good memory for things that seemed odd at the time but I didn't suspect an affair.

Example: He didn't want me to drive his nephew to a different city even though I was going there on business anyway. He insisted on taking him. I found out later that he had scheduled an out-of-town hotel hookup with homewrecker that day.

i believe all these things are in my psyche and I'll be having those "Aha!" moments for the rest of my life.

Posts: 1970 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have them years later, randomly.

BW - 40
DD - 7 years old
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 5494 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.