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User
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Topic: Update on Mom in hospice
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nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226 |  Posted: 11:59 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 |     |
Today marks 4 weeks since Mom's feedings were withdrawn. She is weak, tired, and not very responsive. Today the hospice nurse talked with my Dad, and he decided that it's time to stop giving her water, which has been prolonging the inevitable.
Dad is wrecked at having to make yet another choice that speeds up her passing. All nine of us kids and all seven of Mom's siblings support the decision. I don't think that's much comfort to Dad, however.
It has been a torturous month for everyone, wanting Mom to be at peace, jumping at each ring of the phone, trying to carry on with everyday life while our hearts and minds are in that room day in and day out. It's has been exhausting and painful and yet beautiful all at once.
If you could, please hold my Mom and Dad in your thoughts. Send him comfort during these last hours and send her peace for her journey. Thank you in advance.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28280 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
okaynow
♀ 13813
Member # 13813 | | Posted: 12:04 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK))) Prayers sent for you, your mom, dad, and whole family.
Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.
Posts: 2436 | Registered: Mar 2007 |
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866 | | Posted: 12:04 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK and NIK's Mom and Dad)))
They will be in my thoughts
AKA Moo
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 53977 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation |
ISPIFFD
♀ 26367
Member # 26367 | | Posted: 12:05 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
I'm so sorry you and your dad and your whole family are going through the prolonged sadness of this situation. We went through it with Mom years ago, and I went through it with Dad last year. Sending you and your family all the best and most peaceful thoughts.
Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced
Posts: 1977 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world |
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024 | | Posted: 12:06 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK and Family)))
Your family has been in my thoughts this whole time. I will continue sending prayers for peace for all of you.
Happiness is an inside job. ---William Arthur Ward
Posts: 40867 | Registered: Sep 2007 |
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522 | | Posted: 12:36 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Continued prayers. (((NIK)))
Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
Posts: 7904 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal |
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101 | | Posted: 12:38 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK, Dad and family))))
Find peace and strength in each other, and know that you are going to be a source of reassurance and strength for your dad.
May she just go to sleep.
((((and peace))))
Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy
Posts: 9192 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis |
JKL Vikings
♂ 32094
Member # 32094 | | Posted: 12:50 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
((((NIK and Family))))
Her- Alpha Female 40
Me-FWH 42
Married since '02, together since 2000
D-day 2/10/2009
3 sons- J- born Oct 2001
K- born Sept. 2005
L- born Apr. 2008
We ALL have issues. It's how we deal with them that makes the difference
Posts: 539 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas, TX |
lost_in_toronto
♀ 25395
Member # 25395 | | Posted: 12:55 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
((NIK and family))
I'm sorry your father, and your family, are facing such heartbreaking choices. Wishing you all peace in the coming days.
Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.
Posts: 1734 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore |
hardtimesinlife
♀ 10468
Member # 10468 | | Posted: 1:11 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Those are the hardest decisions to make because the guilt on top of grief is so difficult, no matter how many people tell you it is for the best.
Prayers to your family.
(((nik)))
Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)
Posts: 6225 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida |
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449 | | Posted: 1:14 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((nik and family)))
Posts: 11814 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349 | | Posted: 1:18 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Sending good thoughts and love and comfort.
(((NIK)))
"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron
Posts: 20820 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California |
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886 | | Posted: 1:19 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((((NIK))))))
Lifting you all in prayers.
"You give me that bottom of the 9th, last at bat, tied game, grand slam, full of butterflies kind of feeling." - My Husband
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
Posts: 6780 | Registered: Nov 2011 |
metamorphisis
♀ 12041
Member # 12041 | | Posted: 1:39 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Sending you and your family love NIK. 
“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin
Posts: 46572 | Registered: Sep 2006 |
still2suspicious
♀ 31722
Member # 31722 | | Posted: 1:40 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Just went thru this with my aunt.
Sending all the comfort prayers can give.
(((NIK and family)))
Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA
Posts: 1349 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: |
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528 | | Posted: 1:51 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
((((Nik and family))))
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
Posts: 38278 | Registered: Mar 2011 |
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240 | | Posted: 1:53 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Thank you for the update. Count me in.
(((NIK & family)))
fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 70 (22 in my head), Married 45+, together since 1965, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I
Posts: 11120 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area |
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2 | | Posted: 1:59 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK & family)))
Holding you close and sending you peaceful thoughts...I'm so very sorry
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
Posts: 200948 | Registered: May 2002 |
deeplysad
♀ 16590
Member # 16590 | | Posted: 2:10 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.
It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert
Posts: 3273 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif |
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094 | | Posted: 2:28 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK and family)))
Posts: 3437 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA |
| Topic Posts: 97 | |
