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Newest Member: meepsy (46028)

User Topic: Update on Mom in hospice
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today marks 4 weeks since Mom's feedings were withdrawn. She is weak, tired, and not very responsive. Today the hospice nurse talked with my Dad, and he decided that it's time to stop giving her water, which has been prolonging the inevitable.

Dad is wrecked at having to make yet another choice that speeds up her passing. All nine of us kids and all seven of Mom's siblings support the decision. I don't think that's much comfort to Dad, however.

It has been a torturous month for everyone, wanting Mom to be at peace, jumping at each ring of the phone, trying to carry on with everyday life while our hearts and minds are in that room day in and day out. It's has been exhausting and painful and yet beautiful all at once.

If you could, please hold my Mom and Dad in your thoughts. Send him comfort during these last hours and send her peace for her journey. Thank you in advance.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26482 | Registered: Aug 2011
okaynow
♀ 13813
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK))) Prayers sent for you, your mom, dad, and whole family.


Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2434 | Registered: Mar 2007
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK and NIK's Mom and Dad)))

They will be in my thoughts


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53323 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
ISPIFFD
♀ 26367
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry you and your dad and your whole family are going through the prolonged sadness of this situation. We went through it with Mom years ago, and I went through it with Dad last year. Sending you and your family all the best and most peaceful thoughts.



Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1905 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK and Family)))

Your family has been in my thoughts this whole time. I will continue sending prayers for peace for all of you.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38930 | Registered: Sep 2007
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Continued prayers. (((NIK)))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7863 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK, Dad and family))))

Find peace and strength in each other, and know that you are going to be a source of reassurance and strength for your dad.

May she just go to sleep.

((((and peace))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8893 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
JKL Vikings
♂ 32094
Member # 32094
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK and Family))))


Her- Alpha Female 40
Me-FWH 42
Married since '02, together since 2000
D-day 2/10/2009
3 sons- J- born Oct 2001
K- born Sept. 2005
L- born Apr. 2008
We ALL have issues. It's how we deal with them that makes the difference

Posts: 532 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas, TX
lost_in_toronto
♀ 25395
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NIK and family))

I'm sorry your father, and your family, are facing such heartbreaking choices. Wishing you all peace in the coming days.


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1714 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
hardtimesinlife
♀ 10468
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those are the hardest decisions to make because the guilt on top of grief is so difficult, no matter how many people tell you it is for the best.
Prayers to your family.
(((nik)))


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6176 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nik and family)))

Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending good thoughts and love and comfort.

(((NIK)))


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16


Posts: 18683 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((NIK))))))

Lifting you all in prayers.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6530 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
metamorphisis
♀ 12041
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you and your family love NIK.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 45390 | Registered: Sep 2006
still2suspicious
♀ 31722
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just went thru this with my aunt.

Sending all the comfort prayers can give.

(((NIK and family)))


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1338 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Nik and family))))

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.


Posts: 36773 | Registered: Mar 2011
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the update. Count me in.

(((NIK & family)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10755 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK & family)))

Holding you close and sending you peaceful thoughts...I'm so very sorry


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 199168 | Registered: May 2002
deeplysad
♀ 16590
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK and Family))))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3260 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK and family)))

Posts: 3432 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Topic Posts: 97
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