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Harriet posted 11/11/2013 18:07 PM

Why do these women flock to my ex? Why does he get to be so happy and have all these women who want to be with him? Why do my kids think he's still so cool when he basically left them and is just the Disney dad? How can someone lie and cheat and feel no remorse? Why do my friends still treat him so nicely when they know the truth about him?

Feeling the unfairness of it all at the moment. I know there aren't any answers and life isn't fair. Moving on...

damncutekitty posted 11/11/2013 18:13 PM

Some women just have no standards. I think there are a lot of women out there who will put up with having a complete DOOSH for a boyfriend just so they can say they have one.

nowiknow23 posted 11/11/2013 18:21 PM

((((Harriet))))

StillLivin posted 11/13/2013 14:11 PM

Harriet,
If we were friends I would shun him just for you!
POS cheater.
Uhggg.

She11ybeanz posted 11/13/2013 14:18 PM

If we were friends I would shun him just for you!

Me too. My REAL friends have nothing to do with him.....but I do have friends that I'm not as close to who are cordial to us both and even MOW.... I don't know why but that's just the way people are I guess. Its not fair....and I agree that people should just turn their backs on these POS's... but I had family and friends turn their backs on me and choose him. Life is funny that way. Definitely unfair.

Crescita posted 11/13/2013 16:04 PM

Itís not up to others to give him consequences. The consequences he must face, which are indeed worse, are the ones that are entirely his doing.

While people might appear kind, forgiving, and non-judgmental, he still lives with a fear of intimacy, an inability to connect on a meaningful level, distrust of othersí motivations, no grounds to expect anything but the superficial.

Now you my dear, have your respect, your loving heart, strong morals, and stellar boundaries. You know what it is to care for others and can freely distance yourself from those who wonít return the favor because you know you should expect more.

I can think of nothing more horrifying than hurting people and not caring, doing nothing to make amends for it and just thinking it is okay and normal because people still say hi to me and invite me to dinner. Itís the bed he has made for himself so he must lie there; donít presume that itís comfortable.

Thelastknight posted 11/13/2013 19:33 PM

LOL don't believe everything you hear or see. People in these situations always seem to be getting the better end of the deal. However if truth be told they are over compensating for life failures.

Chin up, there are hundreds of people who would trade lives with you.

She11ybeanz posted 11/13/2013 20:26 PM

Now you my dear, have your respect, your loving heart, strong morals, and stellar boundaries. You know what it is to care for others and can freely distance yourself from those who wonít return the favor because you know you should expect more.

I love this Crescita! You are awesome!

jo2love posted 11/13/2013 21:00 PM

(((Harriet)))

Harriet posted 11/14/2013 00:42 AM

I have been feeling down, and all of your words have really put things back into perspective for me. StillLivin (and Shelly), you made me laugh! I would do the same for you! Crescita, your words remind me that I am the lucky one here. Thank you! Thelastknight, I try to remind myself how good I have things compared to many others. Some days it's easy, some not so much. DCKitty - his last girlfriend was crushed when he dumped her. But I can't warn them because they wouldn't believe me. I would just sound like the bitter ex wife.

I do struggle with my friends who are quite willing to trash talk him to me, but if he shows up it's all hugs and "hello there" to his face. I stand there thinking WTF?

Thank you for the hugs! I can feel them from here.

lost4now posted 11/14/2013 11:44 AM

I too struggle with some of our friends continuing to smile and make small talk with STBXH!!! It makes me want to vomit! But I know what they must think of him (some have even told me what they think of him) and I wouldn't want to be him. I could not look at myself in the mirror everyday knowing how poorly I treated someone or walking away after small talk wondering what was being said about me behind my back!

Some days are more difficult than others. That's okay. Just know that the filling will pass. You are a great person. He will always be a cheater!!!!

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