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O-L-D and cheesy one-liners...share yours!

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Phoenix1 posted 11/12/2013 00:08 AM

There must be a manual or website for the cheesy one-liners I have received because the same corny lines have been used by more than one guy. After I almost spit out my drink reading the latest one, I thought it might be fun to share.

* If I could change the alphabet, I would put I next to U.
* You must have lasers in your eyes because you have stunned me.
* Are you a leprechaun? Because you have charmed me!

Hard to take a NB seriously when this kind of garbage is being spewed. They get an automatic delete, but not before an eye roll and a groan.

How about everyone else? What are the choice one-liners you have seen/heard?

fraeuken posted 11/12/2013 00:32 AM

"I lost my number. May I borrow yours?" That was the day I deleted my profile...

cmego posted 11/12/2013 06:15 AM

The ones recently have been pretty good,

"you have an infectious smile"…too bad he was the opposite of my type.

Or, the ones that go through my profile and write me arguing point for point, "I like XYZ too!! I feel such a connection to you!!!!"

The one that got a little creepy to me recently was one that said, after I told him I wasn't interested since he was recently separated, "I pray you will wait for me".

Delete. Block.

I haven't had any cheesy one-liners recently. I seem to attract the slightly creepy guys.

Williesmom posted 11/12/2013 07:24 AM

I was out with a guy that asked me to come back to his apartment. When I declined, he said "C'mon! The first one is free!"

In his defense, he was extremely funny - I hope he was just going for the shock value.

She11ybeanz posted 11/12/2013 09:54 AM

"Excuse me, I'm lost....Can you take me home with you?

AND (the worst)

"I just wanna put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!"

And, yes...I live in the South!

better4me posted 11/12/2013 11:51 AM

If I was a stop light, i'd stay on red all the time you pass by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer. I was wondering if you fancy to be friends with me and get to know each other and see what happens in the future. Rejection can lead to so many health complications such as stomach ulcer, depression, starvation and many more, so for the sake of our health, Please say yes!!!
Direct quote from a first email contact on OLD. I smiled, but didn't reply...

Phoenix1 posted 11/12/2013 14:32 PM

"I just wanna put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!"

Lordy that is a bad one!!

She11ybeanz posted 11/12/2013 14:39 PM

Trust me! I ran for the Ladies room on that note...

nutmegkitty posted 11/12/2013 15:09 PM

I cannot believe people actually think those work.

ChoosingHope posted 11/12/2013 17:49 PM

Oh. My. God. I can hardly believe these could possibly be for real!!!

lynnm1947 posted 11/12/2013 19:50 PM

Just after I split from XSO, I attended a trade show where I met this other exhibitor. We danced half the night at a party. I was thinking I might get cozy with him till he opened his mouth and whispered in my ear, "Where have you been all my life?"

O.M.G. Game over.

AussieMum posted 11/12/2013 19:57 PM

Saw this in a profile this week:

'Forrest Gump said life is like a box of chocolates. I may just eat you all up'

LOL!!!

trumanshow posted 11/12/2013 21:05 PM

"I hope you know CPR because you have stopped my heart"

I'm a cardiac nurse

GabyBaby posted 11/12/2013 22:31 PM

"I just wanna put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!"
That's not even an original line. It is out of the movie "Coming to America" starring Eddie Murphy.

ISPIFFD posted 11/13/2013 08:35 AM

This isn't exactly cheesy or one line, but I just put up my OLD profile on okc, haven't even put up a photo, barely answered any questions, etc. And I got this:

Hey there, hope things are well with you. I know this is out of the blue but I will be staying at the Hilton Garden Inn tonight and looking for someone to hang out with. Drop me a note if you like. Happy to share pics, cell number, etc. Or if you have kik, hit me there as xxxxxxdog

She11ybeanz posted 11/13/2013 12:17 PM

That's not even an original line. It is out of the movie "Coming to America" starring Eddie Murphy.

Well, it came from an overweight hairy redneck guy that was old enough to be my dad....so I think he was just hungry! I ducked and weaved and got outta there!

EvenKeel posted 11/13/2013 15:09 PM

This is not a one-line....but I thought of you guys when I seen it.

It was yet another user name that screams "come get me"....NOT.

Teabag

Phoenix1 posted 11/13/2013 15:14 PM

Teabag

Sometimes the profile names are just as bad as the one-liners!


soulsearcher4 posted 11/13/2013 16:03 PM

Just after I split from XSO, I attended a trade show where I met this other exhibitor. We danced half the night at a party. I was thinking I might get cozy with him till he opened his mouth and whispered in my ear, "Where have you been all my life?"

Guys are you paying attention? Keep your mouths shut!!!

Phoenix1 posted 11/15/2013 17:24 PM

Got two more that I just HAD to share!

* I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
* I must be the sun and you must be earth because the closer we get, the hotter you become.

OMG! Who comes up with this garbage!

Excuse me while I

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