So WS is not totally moved out. He started about 10 days ago but his clothes are still in the house, and he still comes at least once per day and sometimes sleeps on the couch. I heard him come in last night after I had gone to bed and found him on the couch this morning, snoring his head off wearing his street clothes with his bathrobe draped over the top as a makeshift blanket.
I think he's having a hard time letting go. I did not kick him out; he chose to move out. However, he knows he is not welcome to move back in unless he fulfills the conditions I asked for after D-Day, and that's not happening.
Still, he'll come over and use the computer, watch tv, ask if we can watch a movie together (his favorite form of recreation and relaxation), and ask what there is to eat. I think he has hated the taste he's had so far of living alone -- actually, he's said so more than once -- and comes over for a while to get his "wifey" fix.
I am not yet legally in a position where I can really kick him out (still at least 3 months or so left before I could try), so I try to be nice and keep the peace. However, sometimes my tongue gets the better of me and I make a comment that makes him mad. He related a story to me yesterday of an older lady who saw us together and asked him admiringly where he found such a beautiful wife. He told me this with a note of pride in his voice. My reply was, "Why didn't you tell her the rest?" He said, "What?" I said, "The part where your wife's beauty wasn't enough for you." And he was mad. At least I didn't finish the sentence, which would have included words like "and I will never have enough because I'm a compulsive twisted sex addict."
Sometimes his requests for watching a movie together (which nearly always includes an attempt to cuddle) or asking for something to eat make me indignant, but I don't really know what to do other than to set boundaries. Such as, no, you can't attempt to feel me up if I'm next to you on the couch during a movie. You forfeited that right after you screwed twenty other people and gave me STD's. And since you haven't taken one single step to change, why should I allow it?
Even so, I find it hard sometimes to know how to act. I don't want to risk losing my house and so I try to bite my tongue; OTOH, I wonder when he will stop dropping by and even more so, when he will stop calling me if I'm not home to f ind out where I am!