I'm so sorry
The pain of betrayal is like no other. Only someone who has been through it can understand. You will find understanding here, understanding and kindness.
A few thoughts:
1. You are going through an immensely traumatic experience. You are enduring the emotional equivalent of post traumatic stress disorder. Your first priority must be to stop the bleeding - to get some help for yourself. It is way, way too early to make plans for the future, to know what you want - you need to focus on just getting through the day.
2. He is in a fog - and there is little you can do to change that. Read the "180 Rules" http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11 - they give great guidance on how to act and to hold yourself during this terrible time in your life.
3. It is natural to, at least some of the time, desperately want him back. Very few of us realize how much of our self-identity comes from our mate. Take that prop away, and it is like a part of you has been ripped out. Of course you want him back, but it is not that easy. You have to rebuild your identity, then and only then can you try to rebuild your relationship. There are no shortcuts, not for most of us.
4. Get some help. This forum is great - but if you can find a friend a family member someone who has been through this whom you can confide in, do so.
5. Be careful - you are at your most vulnerable and neediest right now.
6. You don't say if you have children - but if you do, focus on them, not on your WS. Be the best parent you can be - it will help.
Keep posting and reading. It will get better, I promise, just give yourself time to heal.