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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: Hello again Happy Anniversary to me
ItStillHurts
♀ 33617
Member # 33617
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today, if I was counting, would be our 31st. If I started counting the "together" time, it would be our 35th.

It's funny because I can't figure any of this out yet; the ambivalence surrounding the rings, the anniversary, the little milestones we used to have, it lingers still. Nor am I so very driven to figure it out.

I had decided going into the weekend to not be overwhelmed with the emotion that this day brings. But, what I had not counted on was H not bringing it up at all. He has either forgotten or is very thankful that I have not let this day ruin my life yet again. The kindness of strangers here who counselled me over the past two years to not expect too much from this day, attach too much to this day, hope too much, create too much expectation has served me well this year. The last two anniversaries are best left as soft memories where we felt each other out. Me so desperately trying not to fall apart, him trying, just trying to do right.

I am a still a fair bit from okay but today being loved and very lovable is enough. We did have a wonderful weekend together visiting out of town family. Perhaps this was his plan all along... To celebrate family instead. It is so very hard to *not* view life through the A-tainted lens that has colored almost everything this past 35 months......Don't know, not surfacing this one, just rolling with it for now.

I just wanted to acknowledge the day....funny isn't it.

[This message edited by ItStillHurts at 9:37 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)]


The cruelest lies are often told in silence (RLS).
DD: December 24, 2010, when she called me from a pay phone pretending to be someone else.
Me: BS (53)Him: WS (56) OW: 63 yr old Husband hunting predatory whore

Posts: 393 | Registered: Oct 2011
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ItStillHurts)))

Posts: 36776 | Registered: Mar 2011
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with you - around last anniversary time, I wondered if I'd been M 2 years or 46....

I think it's pretty cool your H arranged to see family around this time.

Happy Anniversary!

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:33 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10758 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
ItStillHurts
♀ 33617
Member # 33617
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you!

Sisoon, just so you know, I relied heavily on your gentle post when the emotion of the first anniversary began to overwhelm me. So nice to here from you.

And, 46. Lovely. Actually, inspiring.

[This message edited by ItStillHurts at 7:01 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]


The cruelest lies are often told in silence (RLS).
DD: December 24, 2010, when she called me from a pay phone pretending to be someone else.
Me: BS (53)Him: WS (56) OW: 63 yr old Husband hunting predatory whore

Posts: 393 | Registered: Oct 2011
Raven96
♀ 40298
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Anniversary!

(((ItStillHurts)))


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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