This Topic is Archived
16forever (original poster member #37255) posted at 6:35 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
So it was my H bday this week and of course his fb acct was blowing up his fb is locked tight I cant see his friends list and if u are not his friend u cant search him I only see mutual frienfs this has always kinda bothered me but I think its for work purposes anyway I could see sum of his birthday wishes one was from a non mutal friend not op but someone he went to high school with but its what she said that didn't sit well she called him a stud now if the roles were reversed and a guy called me beautiful he would be like hey whos that by the way my fb is totally open would this bother u ?
Me:40
Him:45
3 awesome kids and 2 grandsons
cluless ( member #40538) posted at 6:40 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
Then make it so he can't see your FB page. IF he wants to be secretive, so can you!
WH 57
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.
Status: We're going to try IC one more time.
betrayed5years ( member #37146) posted at 6:48 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
Sorry but for me there are no hidden anything for R. I have access to everything anytime I want. Don't understand why FB is locked for work purposes????
I will not be in R without total openess....and will not get into "if you do this, I will do that". I am not in war, this is a healing process with no secrets or forbidden areas for me.
OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 7:13 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
His FB needs to be transparent or get shut down. That is not a place for him to have secrecy. I have gone with transparency in our marriage. On both our sides. I didn't cheat, but I have never had anything to hide.
D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
maxandsen ( member #37173) posted at 7:16 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
My FWH fb is also locked down tight so that is why I have his password and can log in any time I want to verify all is on the up and up.
You his wife should have more access especially given the lack of trust after an A then some random friend or coworker.
In order to R he needs to give you all log ins and passwords. If he refuses then he is still putting himself before you and your healing.
RightTrack ( member #36976) posted at 7:18 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
My WH and I now share a FB page. Every message goes to my cell phone. He started and conducted his affair through his FB account so it was non-negotiable.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:38 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
Hidden FB stuff = Red Flag and lack of commitment to R, IMO.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
losingmyground ( member #36070) posted at 3:47 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
He needs to friend you ASAP and you should have access to his username and password.
That goes for all email, social networking etc.
That was rule #1 in our reconciliation and is considered a deal breaker if anything changes.
There is no secrecy in a marriage, especially after an affair.
Married 13 yrs
3 kids 13, 10 & 1
I'm 34
FWH 37
Affair lasted 6 months
Ended 09/2011
Found out 06/2012
My father died during the affair
In the middle of Reconcilliation
betrayedme2 ( member #40639) posted at 10:01 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
Ditto. You have access to everything.....period!
dday: 1/19/13
ME: mid 40's
WW: low 40'3
2 daughters, 17, 21
Reconciling
This Topic is Archived
