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This just bothers me

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16forever posted 11/13/2013 00:35 AM

So it was my H bday this week and of course his fb acct was blowing up his fb is locked tight I cant see his friends list and if u are not his friend u cant search him I only see mutual frienfs this has always kinda bothered me but I think its for work purposes anyway I could see sum of his birthday wishes one was from a non mutal friend not op but someone he went to high school with but its what she said that didn't sit well she called him a stud now if the roles were reversed and a guy called me beautiful he would be like hey whos that by the way my fb is totally open would this bother u ?

cluless posted 11/13/2013 00:40 AM

Then make it so he can't see your FB page. IF he wants to be secretive, so can you!

betrayed5years posted 11/13/2013 00:48 AM

Sorry but for me there are no hidden anything for R. I have access to everything anytime I want. Don't understand why FB is locked for work purposes????

I will not be in R without total openess....and will not get into "if you do this, I will do that". I am not in war, this is a healing process with no secrets or forbidden areas for me.

OnAnIsland posted 11/13/2013 01:13 AM

His FB needs to be transparent or get shut down. That is not a place for him to have secrecy. I have gone with transparency in our marriage. On both our sides. I didn't cheat, but I have never had anything to hide.

maxandsen posted 11/13/2013 01:16 AM

My FWH fb is also locked down tight so that is why I have his password and can log in any time I want to verify all is on the up and up.

You his wife should have more access especially given the lack of trust after an A then some random friend or coworker.

In order to R he needs to give you all log ins and passwords. If he refuses then he is still putting himself before you and your healing.

RightTrack posted 11/13/2013 01:18 AM

My WH and I now share a FB page. Every message goes to my cell phone. He started and conducted his affair through his FB account so it was non-negotiable.

sisoon posted 11/13/2013 09:38 AM

Hidden FB stuff = Red Flag and lack of commitment to R, IMO.

losingmyground posted 11/13/2013 09:47 AM

He needs to friend you ASAP and you should have access to his username and password.

That goes for all email, social networking etc.

That was rule #1 in our reconciliation and is considered a deal breaker if anything changes.

There is no secrecy in a marriage, especially after an affair.

betrayedme2 posted 11/13/2013 16:01 PM

Ditto. You have access to everything.....period!

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