Topic: This just bothers me
Member # 37255
| Posted: 12:35 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
So it was my H bday this week and of course his fb acct was blowing up his fb is locked tight I cant see his friends list and if u are not his friend u cant search him I only see mutual frienfs this has always kinda bothered me but I think its for work purposes anyway I could see sum of his birthday wishes one was from a non mutal friend not op but someone he went to high school with but its what she said that didn't sit well she called him a stud now if the roles were reversed and a guy called me beautiful he would be like hey whos that by the way my fb is totally open would this bother u ?
3 awesome kids
Posts: 237 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: My own nightmare
Member # 40538
| Posted: 12:40 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
Then make it so he can't see your FB page. IF he wants to be secretive, so can you!
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.
Status: We're going to try IC one more time.
Posts: 174 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oceanside
Member # 37146
| Posted: 12:48 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
Sorry but for me there are no hidden anything for R. I have access to everything anytime I want. Don't understand why FB is locked for work purposes????
I will not be in R without total openess....and will not get into "if you do this, I will do that". I am not in war, this is a healing process with no secrets or forbidden areas for me.
Posts: 102 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Somewhere in USA
Member # 34319
| Posted: 1:13 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
His FB needs to be transparent or get shut down. That is not a place for him to have secrecy. I have gone with transparency in our marriage. On both our sides. I didn't cheat, but I have never had anything to hide.
D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
Posts: 1486 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 37173
| Posted: 1:16 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
My FWH fb is also locked down tight so that is why I have his password and can log in any time I want to verify all is on the up and up.
You his wife should have more access especially given the lack of trust after an A then some random friend or coworker.
In order to R he needs to give you all log ins and passwords. If he refuses then he is still putting himself before you and your healing.
Posts: 103 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 36976
| Posted: 1:18 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
My WH and I now share a FB page. Every message goes to my cell phone. He started and conducted his affair through his FB account so it was non-negotiable.
Posts: 870 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 31240
| Posted: 9:38 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
Hidden FB stuff = Red Flag and lack of commitment to R, IMO.
As of September, 2017 -
fBH (me) - 70+, fWW, Married 50, together 50+, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's all I know.
Posts: 16288 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
Member # 36070
| Posted: 9:47 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
He needs to friend you ASAP and you should have access to his username and password.
That goes for all email, social networking etc.
That was rule #1 in our reconciliation and is considered a deal breaker if anything changes.
There is no secrecy in a marriage, especially after an affair.
Married 13 yrs
3 kids 13, 10 & 1
Affair lasted 6 months
Found out 06/2012
My father died during the affair
In the middle of Reconcilliation
Posts: 291 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 40639
| Posted: 4:01 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
Ditto. You have access to everything.....period!
ME: mid 40's
WW: low 40'3
2 daughters, 17, 21
Posts: 83 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
|Topic Posts: 9|