It has occurred to me lately that the whole concept of re-writing the marriage is a very true one and has been for me. This could also be the same as being negative and having a bad attitude towards the marriage, which is how my H puts it.
I think a large part of the re-writing is to justify my actions and I believe this has all been happening at a subconscious level. I was not even aware that this is what I may have been doing, but I am aware that when I looked back at my marriage, ONLY, negative things were coming to mind.
My H would try to point out the good stuff but I would counteract it with the things that have hurt me. He would follow with "it's just because you're in a negative frame of mind right now". I'm glad to say, this is slowly lifting and I have been recalling some fond memories of when I've been happy with my life. I've been sharing these with my H and it's been a nice way to make him smile.
My H is super patient and still doesn't talk much about his feelings, but today I'm feeling hopeful that things may change in the future, especially if I continue with my positive thinking, which I know my H needs right now.