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i dont know if i like my wh

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Gottagetthrough posted 11/13/2013 20:44 PM

Hmmm. I really don't know if I like him. Maybe I'm just staying for the kids?

I like him as a person, but he treats me poorly. I dont even know if he like me.


After all this R, I just feel like throwing in the towel. Someone out there must want to talk to me and tell me they like my dinners, that I'm pretty, and that they live me, right? Could it be my wh? I don't know?

Gottagetthrough posted 11/13/2013 20:46 PM

Darn iPhone, they Love me. Not live me

Newme123 posted 11/13/2013 22:12 PM

I'm so sorry your wh doesn't tell you he loves you. You do deserve that. We all deserve someone who will love and cherish us.

karmahappens posted 11/13/2013 22:20 PM

Hey Gotta

So what does the future you want to have look like?

Do you feel you have to stay for the kids?
Do you not recognize that YOU deserve to be loved and cherished and your kids deserve to see parents who create a loving home?

I bet you make some kick ass dinners and your beauty is obvious if you have tried all this time to R.

Is it time to look at what you need, what you want and what type of happy future you can have? Is your H capable of sharing that kind of life with you?

You deserve it, it's time to start living like you know it.

(((hugs)))

Gottagetthrough posted 11/14/2013 07:40 AM

Thanks guys. I talked to wh this morning and he said stuff at work is stressful and apologize d. Eh. I still dont feel like I'm committed to the marriage. I'm committed to the kids and my lifestyle, including stuff like money and not sharing holidays.

But wh? I do like him when he's nice. When he tells a joke or does something nice or just looks at me a certain way, I think, yeah, I do love this guy. That my Husband. I want to be with him.

But when he's a jerk, which has been often lately, I am ready to just bail on the marriage. Its like he owes me niceness for agreeing to R.

soconfusednow posted 11/14/2013 08:24 AM

When he tells a joke or does something nice or just looks at me a certain way, I think, yeah, I do love this guy. That my Husband. I want to be with him.

But when he's a jerk, which has been often lately, I am ready to just bail on the marriage.


If you want to stay with him, but are just having a hard time liking him try this.

Once a day think of something about him or something he did that you like. Some days it will be really hard and others it will be easy. It could be anything, a look, taking care of a plate after dinner, a kiss, going to work to support the family, however big or small if you dig really deep hopefully you can find at least one thing. On good days it may be several.

Write it down.

Keep it for yourself to read when your ready to throw in the towel. Or better yet, share it with him so he can see your appreciation & you can both be blessed by it.

Gottagetthrough posted 11/15/2013 20:19 PM

Write it down.

Keep it for yourself to read when your ready to throw in the towel. Or better yet, share it with him so he can see your appreciation & you can both be blessed by it.


thank you for this idea. it is really wonderful/

IDeserveMore posted 11/16/2013 21:01 PM

I think I know how you feel. Aside from the cheating and years of TT, there are still so many things I don't like about my husband.

narcissistic
judgmental
selfish
terrible in bed

You know, little things like that :)

And then I put it ALL together and I just am not feeling it.

Every once in a while he'll do something thoughtful. And I could do the thing of writing it down or telling him. It would just be so little relative to everything else.

It's very sad isn't it. How far we come from what we once thought of them. What we once thought our marriages would be like.

storm77 posted 11/17/2013 00:20 AM

Gottagetthrough,
I do not..repeat do not like me husband at all right now. He is selfish jerk. I am staying for the same reasons right now. My kids are the only thing keeping me from running(not walking) out the door.
Soconfusednow,
I really like the idea of writing down the nice things he does but I do not think I will share any of it for a very long time. I always told H what I loved and appreciated. At this point I just think it made me look like a doormat and he stepped all over my heart.
Ehh I guess I can always share these thoughts with the kids later so that do not hate H. Thanks for the idea.

betraydtwice posted 11/17/2013 22:28 PM

I do not like my H. I may have some remaining love(what little that's left), but like the person he is? No No No...was this man always such an ass?? Why did I never see this before? Was I crazy? Am I crazy now for staying??

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