@dreamboat, thanks for the confirmation.
@solus, I think I did bristle at what he said. I guess I took the next logical step... stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids. And while he didn't come out and say that, I felt those were his next words.
I know that I can't continue to live this way. I don't sleep well, my emotions are all over the place, and I'm short tempered.
@ashamed, I fully expect him to beg and cry and plead and gaslight. It is what happened 2 years ago. Maybe I'll be surprised in which case, I am fully prepared and ready to go.
@sparky, the snake charming is my fear. I don't want to get pulled back in if we march down this path again. He already got his 2nd chance after 2 years ago - does he get a 3rd?
@thefly, thanks for your perspective. I guess I expected someone to support me, help me move forward with the right thing for me... and I felt insulted in the process. I don't need to pay for that!
@exposed, sounds like you've marched down a similar path. Thanks for the support ... and words of encouragement.
@phoenix, good summary. I have to get myself mentally prepared to D - it was such a foreign concept to me that I need to make myself be strong. At the same time, I will consider R - UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES. Some of those being: IC, MC, agreed upon division of assets in case of D, some funds in my name only that will not be part of division of assets in case of D. I don't want to be 1 or 2 or 5 years older and less to show for it and a mental case in the process.
His reaction to my questions will be the lynchpin. How transparent he becomes AT THAT MOMENT will determine a lot.
I am waiting because December is a favorite month in my family - a kid's birthday, Christmas. For as much as it is eating my up inside, I need - ironically, for the kids - to keep it together. In the meantime, I am copying records, squirreling away money in a different account, and interviewing L.
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thanks all. I feel like you've all got my back : ) Something I used to count on WS for... not so much any more.