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hurting2much posted 11/14/2013 07:46 AM

Little background: XWH left the house in Jan 13, after we agreed on a divorce, to start his "new life" with OW#?. He was extremely motivated to leave the house. We went through the house, and divided the stuff up. I was more than willingly to give him half of the furniture, exercise equipment, lawn equipment, etc. But he was moving into an apartment, and like I said, was motivated to leave, as he and OW were already talking about their marriage.

Divorce final in March, with the stipulation that everything in the house would be legally mine within 60 days, if he didn't get his stuff out. Well, that day came and went.

Today I get an email from him. He wants to buy the lawn equipment from me for $400. Now this is a huge riding lawn tractor, aerator, thatcher. I think it is worth alot more than that. And he wants the buy the exercise equipment. I was thinking of selling this stuff to pay for the house taxes next year. I didn't use these things this year.

I am sure a "people pleaser" that my first reaction was to sell it to him. I don't want to rock the boat. I know that sounds stupid because there is NO boat to rock. Why am I still putting him and his wants before mine? He had his chance to get this stuff.

Crap...I need a damn backbone. I don't want to deal with this. He made his choice, now just leave me alone.

Take2 posted 11/14/2013 07:52 AM

Check out the prices online (make and model) then decide if what he is offering is fair... and it is worth the price of even having to deal with him at all. The riding mower is likely worth ALOT more.

lifestoshort posted 11/14/2013 08:16 AM

I agree with take2

thenon-goddess posted 11/14/2013 08:22 AM

Ummm...$400?! Yeah, no way. Tell him you'll look in to the current going price for the items in the condition they're in and you'll give him first dibs on them. THAT is more than nice enough, all things considered.

hurting2much posted 11/14/2013 08:40 AM

I searched online. The tractor alone is selling on ebay for $900. He is wanting 5 accessories that go with the tractor (aerator, dethatcher, trailer, etc).

I am so anxious about this. Dealing with money issues with him has always made me feel anxious. I feel like I have to make up excuses to tell him "no"...why??? He knew he was leaving this stuff behind and it didn't seem to bother him when his "soul mate" was waiting for him at home.

I hate being anxious, and he is the only one who makes me feel this way.

I could just reply to his email, stating I didn't use them this season, but will use them next season...again...why do I feel the need to make excuses? Why do I give a crap about his feelings?

sparkysable posted 11/14/2013 09:38 AM

If you want to sell him the stuff, sell it for what it's worth. Don't cut him any deals, just pretend he's any other buyer off the street.

If you don't want to sell it, don't. The end.

sparkysable posted 11/14/2013 09:43 AM

and don't give a crap about his feelings. if he rages because he doesnt' get his way, ignore him. it probably worked for him in the past to throw a temper tantrum to get his way, well it doesn't work with you anymore.

when you start to doubt yourself, keep this in mind:

He knew he was leaving this stuff behind and it didn't seem to bother him when his "soul mate" was waiting for him at home.

fuck that guy

hurting2much posted 11/14/2013 10:34 AM

Thanks guys! I am amazed at myself, at how weak I am when it comes to him. I am ashamed that I feel anxious.

I sent him a short email, stating I am using the stuff/going to need the stuff next season. He replied "I understand. Thanks."

Why even ask me for the stuff...I know the answer to that...because in the past, I gave him what he wanted, even though I didn't want to.

Mousse242 posted 11/14/2013 18:27 PM

If it's something you will need to replace. Don't do it.

If it's something you were going to sell anyway, give him the first offer. Make it a fair price but not a "deal" by any means. Look up what the exercise stuff if currently going for and offer it to him at that price. Don't go back and forth on it, this is the price, you want it or you don't.

momentintime posted 11/14/2013 18:27 PM

He doesn't need to know if you use the stuff. He left it, the D decree said it was yours after 60 days. He knows all this. That is why he is offering to buy it. (However, he wants it dirt cheap because he doesn't think you know what they are worth, and he is use to getting his way).

Now is the time to let him know he isn't in the driver's seat anymore. Don't sell him anything. He and cutie pie can buy their own stuff.

[This message edited by momentintime at 6:28 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]

Gr8Lady posted 11/15/2013 02:00 AM

Listen, I know all about being too nice. Picture this...OW rising around on the Lawnmower purchased at a bargain from you.

Oh hell no. Sell that stuff and do something nice for yourself. Why should Exwh get a bargain. You owe him nothing.

Put on those bitch boots...that stuff is yours and worth money. Let him go to Sears and buy what he needs to take care of his love nest.. It isn't your responsibility to give him a bargain.

Gr8Lady posted 11/16/2013 08:35 AM

Better yet. YOU post items on Craigslist for appropriate price send him link, state according to fair market value, this is the listing, you are welcome to make an offer. I am sure you want to abide by the fairness I extended to you as I divided items in house pre divorce in a fair manor.

End of story