Since you have gone to the same person for so long, that's really what I would do, if it was a short relationship with your stylist, I would just say get a new one. You may want to try a few new ones in the mean time anyway.
One of my best friends in the world is a stylist and she is wonderfully skilled, and I love how she cuts my hair, but I rarely go to her just becasue it's not convientent. She live at the other end of town, and takes planning to see her, where as if I just need a cut I run to great clips.
Why did your H know her schedule after DDay? My H would not even know my salon schedule.
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
True story: about a month and a half after Dday, I was getting my hair done and his hooker - hooker!!! - sat in the chair next to me (yes, I knew who she was, her website was very explicit). I almost threw up. And I've never gone back.
Moral of the story: if you feel comfortable asking your stylist to give you the heads up so you don't book appointments at the same time, do. A good stylist is hard to find!
I told one person, my best friend for over half my life, and even though I specifically stated many times that I was not ready for anyone else to know she told 2 people. This was very out of character as I trusted her immensely, and it was another painful betrayal during a time when I was reeling from the A. I think in her own mind she was doing it for "the right reasons" - because she thought I needed support. Even so, of course the two people she told each told two or three people, and needless to say I really didn't have to tell anyone after that because it was just like a game of telephone run amok.
Even if you trust the stylist not to gossip about the information, she may tell the receptionist in confidence, and the receptionist may tell others. If the receptionist is the one who schedules appointments, wouldn't your stylist have to tell her that you and the OW couldn't be booked on the same day? And even if she didn't give her a reason initially, if the OW called and pressed for an appointment around the same time as yours, maybe your stylist would tell the receptionist why you didn't want to be in the same salon as OW (maybe just because she didn't want the receptionist to think you are being rude or unreasonable)?
It's just something to consider IMO since you mentioned that you haven't told anyone about the A.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
I'd be honest and tell the entire salon what this woman did to you. She tried to steal your husband and your family. I'd even find a way to let the OW know that everyone knows and maybe she will be embarrassed enough to stay away.
When you shine light on the evil that is perpetrated on you, the evil ones usually skirmish away like cockroaches do when a light is turned on in a room.
I'm a FWS and personally believe this is always the wisest approach when confronted with OW/OM crossing your path.
[This message edited by Card at 1:54 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin
My sister has to keep a "gag order" when people tell her personal things....she can't tell anyone of course, so she keeps the client.....
But, your stylist may think that you don't know, so she doesn't bring it up...