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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: Feeling depressed now.
Emptynester3
♀ 41309
Member # 41309
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I've read the timeline and the story is oh so real now. I have to admit that seeing it right there in black and white( my husband even typed it), is hard. Last night I made a timeline chart, filling in his encounters with our life events and I realized our 25th anniversary in Paris trip, and so many weekends to our favorite spots are now tarnished by his affair. Our life together as I knew it was a lie! I know that recovering from an affair follows the same stages as the stages of mourning(denial,anger, depression and acceptance). I've been in the anger stage for a bit now... Just so so mad that he's done this to us! But now, after finally getting that timeline, I'm feeling more depressed now. Just wondering how long this phase will last and hoping that acceptance soon follows. Sometimes I think that I'll never be able to get over this. It's really hard to let go of the resentment! Any thoughts?



Posts: 41 | Registered: Nov 2013
iwillNOT
♀ 40605
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Emptynester)))

I read your story and I am so sorry you have to be here. You have been through so much. Clearly you are a very strong person. I am amazed at all that you have made it through. Many would have simply folded, but not you.

Regarding the timeline- I don't have insight here. My WH says he has his timeline ready but I can't read it yet, I am afraid of hurting more.

Perhaps part of your depression is processing time. Seeing all his betrayals in black and white, and how he worked them right into your lives without you knowing, must have been very difficult. but - nothing stays the same, does it? This won't either. Be gentle with yourself. This will pass.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 514 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
2married2quit
♂ 36555
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are indeed a strong woman. I read your bio. Hang in there, don't allow yourself to fall in depression. Most of it is natural based on all that happen and the natural progression of things, but you still have to have a handle on things.

Today is a bad day for me as well. She said she doesn't love me and is still not sure she wants to be married to me. As if she was the one that got betrayed and I was the cheater. I'll never understand this, but this is my cross, this is my story. (crying as I type).


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Emptynester3))) I know what you mean. I never got a timeline but I was able to retrieve everything off of WH's iphone and put 2 and 2 together. It's awful when you see how the A overlapped the M. I remember reading texts where he would text MOW and then text me right after It is depressing when you figure out the time during their A was a lie. I felt like a fool.


(((2married2quit))) I am so sorry


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 4

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