SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We always see threads about the stupid or hurtful things the AP or WS says. How about a positive one?

What are some of the meaningful or powerful things our WS says?

A few of mine are:

"I am sorry I brought him into our life."

"Whatever it takes"

"I am doing every thing I can to never be that person again"

"Every day I thank God for the fact you gave me the gift of reconciliation"

"I promise you I will never be that man again"

"I still feel shame and want to smack myself upside the head when I think of what I did"

"Blimey MrsDoubtfire- you are just everything to me and it's all about you from here on in!" (I love this when he says this )

My favourite (tongue in cheek) "Go shopping and take my credit card!"

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 1:58 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]

Your spouses bring this up on their own? We're about 1.5 years in since D-Day and I'm doing a lot better. I still havent forgiven my wife, but I'm no longer dwelling on this issue on a daily basis. It still bothers me though that my WW never brings the issue up and doesn't talk about it unless I do first.

I'm at the point where we've talked about everything, and don't want to really rehash the past, but it bothers me that I'm not given any validation from time to time that she's grateful for me not leaving her like I almost did, or even that she's enjoying being in the relationship.

I know I could reach out and start the conversation, but I'm tired of always being the one who has to do that.

Most times it is a response to a look on my face or something I say. Sometimes it is when we are having a great time together or as a family as she sees what she was risking. A couple times it has been all on her own from a trigger she had.

ETA. Good ones MD

[This message edited by Chicho at 2:43 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]

I can't really participate in this one. Physical touch is my primary love language....

"I'm sorry." (not the first time he said it but the first time that I believed him)

"I'm a lucky man that you stayed."

"I don't deserve you but I hope one day I will."

"I love you." (for a long time I didn't believe him)

"You're right." (well it's always nice to hear that whatever the reason!)

"I've been a stupid selfish bastard - I will never do this to you again!"

er ........ am I allowed to write the last one ....... direct quote from fwh .......... is name calling themselves allowed ....... oh 'eck I've confused myself .......... it's just I found it pretty powerful when he said it to me.

All of this was my fault. It was my choice. If you want to be angry be angry with me.

I DID THIS.

Also "whatever it takes"

"You are the love of my life and I will love getting old with you"

always calls me "baby" or "lover"

I don't really know what my primary love language is but I love it all...words...touch...gifts...I'll take it all :)))

Nice Sisoon

Good stuff everyone.

That he could not imagine life without me (with real tears in his eyes). This was after learning of one of his friend's wife's passing and seeing what his friend is going through, missing all the everyday nuances of his wife. It touched me because I felt that he meant it from his heart and I can tell that he loves me. He told me he is thankful I gave him a chance to prove that he is not the person I thought he was.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 3:36 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]

We are not in r, but I still give him credit for the growth and changes I can see. He told me how sorry he was, how he can't believe the magnitude of pain due to his selfishness. He is working hard so that when I look at him he'll no longer be a reflection of hurt and brokenness. He'll be someone that can augment all the good he sees in me.

"You did absolutely nothing to deserve what I did to you. You are the most amazing wife any man could ask for. You always have been. You are innocent. I wronged you, and I will spend the rest of my life being sorry for that."

"Thank you for staying. Every day that I wake up and you are still here is a good, good day."

"That thing you do, where you don't leave me? I love that."

"All those times I let you believe you were crazy? You weren't crazy. You were right. I lied to protect myself, and I'm so very sorry."

"You weren't a fool. I was just a very, very good liar, and you trusted me."

“I took something innocent and beautiful and almost unconditional, and destroyed it.”

“This had nothing to do with you.”

“you make me happy” (this one was said out of nowhere – I was watching TV)

“We’re gonna be old people together”

Couldn't help myself, Chicho.

This is a great thread. W just found some letters I wrote her 30 years ago when I was away on a couple of projects, and they bring up bitter-sweet memories about things we just didn't connect on. Remembering good stuff and reading about good stuff from others helps.

I can't remember many specific words, but in general, every time my W answered a question about her A was meaningful to me.

And 'I love you' accompanied by remorseful. loving actions.

You are the love of my life, truly, and I have hurt you in the worst possible way. I do not deserve your love. I'm sorry.

"I'm so sorry"

"I don't deserve you or your love and I'm so thankful you are giving me another chance"

"Whatever inside me that made me think that I wanted to sleep with someone is dead. It's not what I want and it's why it stopped. I'm ashamed and will spend the rest of my life making you feel happy and safe again"

Lots more.

I hear a lot of these things...but I just can't believe them. He said a lot of sweet stuff before the affair...and he must not have meant it if he were able to have the affair. Why should I believe those things now. :(

"You are the love of my life."

"You did nothing wrong--we had a good marriage. You were a perfect wife. I was a jerk."

"I don't deserve you."

Thank you for taking me back.

Me, "this all feels so surreal"

H, "what feels surreal to me is that I am here, that you are giving me this chance"

Great idea Chicho