Im sorry. He has been lying to you this whole time. he knows he broke NC. He knows that is not ok..and he is fully aware of how much his interaction with OW has hurt you. He chose to break NC several times..and he has chosen to continue to lie to you.
It's good that you found this. It hurts now,but you need to know the truth. And you need to know that your WS is still lying about the OW. Knowledge is power. Painful,but necessary.
What are the consequences of lying?
As long as there are secrets and lies,true R can't begin.
He KNOWS he hasn't been doing "so well." He knows he has been lying to you. It's disrespectful,hurtful,and so wrong. To continue contact and continue to lie to a BS after dday...well..it's cruel.
Yes..it's common for a WS to break NC and to TT. That doesn't make it ok..it doesn't make it right.
Consequences. He needs them.
ETA: I just read your other thread..that she is trying to contact him. Not surprising,considering she knows he broke NC several times a few months ago. She doesn't think he was serious about NC..because he wasn't. He offered to sit down and write everything out? tell him to do it today. I understand you don't want him to hurt...but you need to find your bitch boots here. Put them on.
You have been very understanding..very generous..very kind to him. You have given him the benefit of the doubt. He has taken advantage of that,honey.
[This message edited by confused615 at 2:34 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]
M: June 2001
Status: Reconciled. Love my "new" husband!
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.