I had to disclose to my professor that I went through a period of serious infidelity and that I am still with my WH. I had to because it's an advanced counseling skills class and clinical supervision is required (which means I have to disclose my issues when they get stirred up by a client - and they did).
I felt so embarrassed and like crap the rest of the class and even when I got home.
Crap that I had to disclose my "secret" that I never wanted to tell. Going back to grad school to finish my courses for licensure was my safe place where people didn't know anything about what happened last year. It is part of me rebuilding myself.
Crap that I felt ashamed of what my WH did - even though I know it's not my fault.
And even more crappy that this is now part of my story, that it still effects me, and that my clinical skills suffered because of this baggage - that I did not ask for.
I have been working so hard in IC to dig out and rebuild. I've been working so hard on my foo issues and really trying to recover from codependent behaviors. Yesterday I was practically a blubbering victim-y codependent mess by the end of the meeting. ugh
Thanks for letting me vent.