Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: mkei

Divorce/Separation :
Checking in

This Topic is Archived
default

 tamarack (original poster member #14554) posted at 12:18 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Haven't been on an SI in a very long time so I wanted to check back in.

Really don't have much of an update. Still working insane hours just trying to make ends meet, trying my best to take care of two children who are growing like weeds and eating me out of house and home. Good news is that I'm now working from home telecommuting to work, so I no longer spend two hours a day sitting in rush hour traffic. But that's my life in a nut shell, my kids and my job.

Nothing new with XH either. Other than an occasion email to the kids about how much he loves them and misses them, none of us have had any contact with him in years. In this case, that's a very good thing. And yes, he remains a complete deadbeat.

I also wanted to offer some hope for those of you who are just staring out on this journey. It is ROUGH! Even now, 6 1/2 years after dday, there are days when I wonder how in the world I'm going to do it all by myself. Fact is, I don't do it all, I just try to do the best I can.

Life now is infinitely easier than it was six years ago. I cannot thank my friends at SI enough for carrying me through the first few years. You laughed with me. You cried with me. You encouraged me when I felt like giving up. You were there for me every step of the way, making me who I am today. My wounds have healed and the scars serve as a permanent reminder that I did survive infidelity .

Me: 44 WH: almost 60, sociopath
OW: 56-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (14 & 15)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced

"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie

posts: 3562   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2007   ·   location: suburbs of Denver, CO
id 6562313
default

ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 12:35 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Hiya! So what became of the property and all that stuff, Tam? Did you EVER get back cs from him? Oh, and what abt yhe crazy ow?

Glad you and kids are ok!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1806   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 6562339
default

caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 12:43 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

I still think about you and I am GLAD to see you!!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6562353
default

betrayedfriend ( member #19785) posted at 1:07 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Glad to see you and hear everything is going well Tam!

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

posts: 1023   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2008   ·   location: Midwest USA
id 6562380
default

risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 1:29 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Thank you so much for the update!

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6562405
default

Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:56 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

I'm glad you checked in. I was thinking about you recently.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6562442
default

cantlivewithouth ( member #11939) posted at 2:42 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Holy Crow! I was just thinking about you yesterday! I'm so glad you checked in! Happy to hear you are doing well.

Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎

posts: 40994   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2006   ·   location: Canada by way of Virginia
id 6562496
default

Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 3:11 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Glad to see you, Tam.

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 6562531
default

travels ( member #20334) posted at 3:21 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

I was thinking of you the other day.

I take it your Ex hasn't sent the kids any dirty toys for Christmas presents lately?

When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.
"After a breakup, the loyal one stays single and deals with the damages until healed. The other one is already in another relationship."

posts: 4080   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2008
id 6562544
default

 tamarack (original poster member #14554) posted at 1:11 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

No contact from XH in several years other than an occasional email to the kids. Which they ignore, neither of them wants anything to do with him

The house in Idaho is in foreclosure. They missed way too many mortgage payments, and I'm certainly in no position to pay a huge chunk of money I don't have only to wind up with a big property I cannot possibly afford At least foreclosure will break the last hold he has over me, which has been a noose hanging over my head pretty much since dday. Yes, my credit will be destroyed, but at least I can start fresh.

Me: 44 WH: almost 60, sociopath
OW: 56-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (14 & 15)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced

"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie

posts: 3562   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2007   ·   location: suburbs of Denver, CO
id 6563751
default

FirstLoveGone ( member #25957) posted at 4:43 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

Nice to see an update from you. There are so many stories I follow that I lose track of posters sometimes. But I remember your story well.

Thanks for checking in.

posts: 1382   ·   registered: Oct. 23rd, 2009
id 6563881
default

ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:36 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

Hey, Tam.

Great to hear from you!

I think about you every Christmas - you know, the old toys via the mail incident.

Glad to hear you're hanging in there!

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6564162
default

 tamarack (original poster member #14554) posted at 9:38 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

I think about you every Christmas - you know, the old toys via the mail incident.

I still laugh about it every Christmas. He no longer sends them any presents

Me: 44 WH: almost 60, sociopath
OW: 56-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (14 & 15)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced

"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie

posts: 3562   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2007   ·   location: suburbs of Denver, CO
id 6564437
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy