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Another financial thing from D

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hexed posted 11/15/2013 10:28 AM

For the first 4 years after we S, I was in financial dire straits.

This year has been much better. I've splurged on a few things. Its been nice. But a lot of what I've spent money on has been replacing boring practical things that I lost in the D. I was looking at my quickbooks and I'm stunned how much money I've spent buying stuff this year. I've made due w/o it but its all practical stuff that I should have had.

Today I bought a stud finder and a hammer. It was a small purchase. I used to have these things. Jumper cables, he left me with the non functioning cordless drill, rakes, wheelbarrow, brooms, flashlights, ect ect ect. Stuff that's kind of cool but its all stuff that I used to own. It has added up to thousands over the last year. CRAZY!

[This message edited by hexed at 11:18 AM, November 15th (Friday)]

thyme2go posted 11/15/2013 11:15 AM

I hear you. I have replaced an entire household. D is not cheap.

hexed posted 11/15/2013 11:20 AM

Its truly mind blowing when I look at it. He took half of all the dishes. Did it w/o even discussing it with me so each of us could have a complete set. Now I've got a random assortment. This is clearly not one of life's real problems but damn I can't wait to buy a matching set of dishes. Still irks me a littel when I open that cabinet

inconnu posted 11/15/2013 11:57 AM

I was lucky. I got to keep most of the household stuff. It's the tools and garage stuff I've had to replace.

And major appliances. And my vehicle. And the AC system for the house.

The list seems endless.

EvenKeel posted 11/15/2013 13:01 PM

Ex was to leave any tool we had a duplicate of plus all my dad's tools.

Pah.....I got an assortment of broken junk. The man even took the cabinets RIGHT OFF the wall in the garage.

For that first year or so, each payday I would buy one replacement item. My GFs always would chuckle at my latest buy from the ShopVac to my circular saw.

It sucks but I look at it this way....I have all new stuff.

Williesmom posted 11/15/2013 14:43 PM

Yep. I was very kind in that I gave him anything from the house that I had extras of. He didn't even leave me a shovel or rake. The $500 weed whacker that my parents bought for us? He took it. Jagoff.

stronger08 posted 11/15/2013 18:14 PM

During my S my XWW sold my power tools on Craigslist. When I confronted her on it she said they were hers too. So when we finally D and were moving from the house I took a box that was labeled shoes. In it were all her winter shoes and boots. And trust me that woman had shoes up the Ying Yang. When the cold weather came around she asked if I mistakenly had taken her shoes. I told that yes I had them but threw them away. She was pissed and started a big fight. I had to remind her that as she saw fit to sell my power tools claiming they were hers as well. I figured in that spirit her shoes belonged to me as well. She cursed me out and hung up on me. It was one of the small victories that us BS seldom get. A few weeks later I dropped them off at her fathers house as they were taking up space. I got a text that night that simply said "Your an Asshole" For some reason that made me feel better also.

gardenparty posted 11/15/2013 18:29 PM

I still miss all my landscaping tools. I never even thought to go in to garage when I was packing so I left all my major tools behind.

tesla posted 11/15/2013 18:37 PM

stronger...that is some funny ass shit!!!

hexed, I completely hear you. I'm one year out from D and am going to be spending the next...god, I don't even know how many years replacing household stuff...on a teacher's salary. Joy.

exhausted lady posted 11/15/2013 20:01 PM

Oh God can I relate to your post hexed! My NPD XSO was one of those guys that left tools out in the driveway, lost them, just basically didn't respect my shit. I've been replacing stuff for 3-1/2 years, and every purchase I make kinda pisses me off, because I'm replacing stuff HE was so careless with.

This week I splurged and bought a brand-spanking new Stihl chainsaw. WooHoo! Yeah, I HAD a chainsaw and X "fixed" it......which means it will probably never run again without spending more than a new one.


I've been having to do it a little at a time too.....but the Bear splurged big-time and bought a 5 ton log splitter 2 weeks ago. So nice to have a man around that actually "gets it", and HELPS! Heehee.....he knows my love language is "get 'er done".

Sad in AZ posted 11/16/2013 00:33 AM

I'm the one who moved out, and since I was moving in with my mom, I couldn't take much. When I finally got my own place, it was shocking what I had taken for granted before. When I had to buy a razor knife (rather than going out to the garage for one--of many!) I actually started to tear up. But I got over it.

I still have not bought myself any power tools; there were many time that life would have been easier with them. I'm especially thankful that Crescita came over and was able to help me put my bed and couch together with her power screw driver.

259 posted 11/16/2013 04:52 AM

yup I'm with you all on this one.

mine even undid and took the workbench that had come with our house - and it wasn't a great one at that. and he took the ride-on mower - and moved into a house with no grass - leaving me with what took 10 hours with the ride on to mow.

a year later and I've just bought a fabulous better than his ride on mower. and have thoroughly enjoyed mowing the lawns knowing that it was all mine.

have had to buy a weed eater, water blaster, chainsaw, and countless other tools as well.

on the plus side, its all brand-new stuff that I get to enjoy using

hexed posted 11/17/2013 15:41 PM

Geez~! I still don't own a mower...eeek! I HAVE to buy one next year. My X took half the dishes but not one complete set. Half of 3 different sets of dishes out of spite. Everything from brooms to the vaccuum cleaner disappeared.

This weekend I completely splurged on a new couch and chair. That was HUGE for me. The first new, from the show room furniture I've owned in a very very long time. My old set was pathetic and had picked up a funky odor. My X took the nice leather sectional before I had a chance to do anything about it.

Helen of Troy posted 11/17/2013 16:01 PM

Uh huh that fucktard even took shovel and flashlights not to mention all the tools. So he could move into an APARTMENT with OW. I was to keep up the house repairs, lawn ect with no tools. And I guess if the power went off or there was a hurricane too fucking bad for his kids and me.
He took all this stuff when the kids were at school and I was at work, powerless to change the locks at the time. I got one last laugh, he never found the silver place settings, the pattern he forced me to get that matched his family's pattern. I took that to the pawnshop when the price of silver was way high! it put a dent in my legal bill!

lynnm1947 posted 11/18/2013 14:57 PM

I moved from a large house and acreage to a 2,000-ft. condo when I left XSO. Now I live in a house again. Just a few weekends ago I replaced the heavy duty power washer. Ya-hoo! When I left, it was with all my personal belongings, all the pots & pans, china and crystal (I owned it all before we started living together and he owned next to nothing), all the art on the walls (ditto) except one original he had purchased, and I left all the furniture except four chairs that wee mine before. I took the baby grand while he kept the Bang & Olufson built in sound system. I later sold the piano, the four chairs (I'd bought 14 more for our house that matched mine and they weren't any longer available) and one piece of art back to him.

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