Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: antidave (45740)

User Topic: Divorce and Social security over 60?
2yrs+recovering
♀ 31582
Member # 31582
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just read that I can collect my FWH social security at age 62,if we are divorced for 2 years. His is quite a bit more than mine.

This may be a factor for me, as I am 59 right now and I am contemplating why I should spend the last third of my life with a liar???

Yes we have been in R for 5 years, but I believe he may be still lying (about money) and I am tired of being a watchdog.

If this SS news is good for me this might just be the impituss(sp)to make me take back my life.

Let me hear from all of you who are in this age bracket!!! or any laywers or accountants out their that can advise.


BS (me)60 FWH 72
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 562 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
phmh
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/app/answers/detail/a_id/299/~/qualifying-for-divorced-spouse-benefits

According to the above link, you only have to have been married for 10 years in order to collect.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3482 | Registered: Dec 2011
fireproof
♀ 36126
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know for sure but I was told you had to be married 10 years and you don't remarry.

At the time in comparison to the pain it didn't mean much to me at the time. I suppose it is something to look forward to in the future.

[This message edited by fireproof at 3:10 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]


Posts: 1061 | Registered: Jul 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that your ex-spouse has to be receiving SS, too. So if he delays taking it, that delays you getting it as well. Don't quote me on that...

But yes, married 10 years and you can't be remarried.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10026 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
exhausted lady
♀ 30217
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just looked at the link....WooHoo! Another 3 years and 5 months and I can collect on my asshole second husband's SS benefits. *snicker*

Boy, is that gonna chap his ass.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Boy, is that gonna chap his ass.

My X too; I can't wait


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20447 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
inconnu
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My X too; I can't wait

From what I recall from looking into that a while ago, the exes (or 2nd wives) don't get notified.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12170 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
2yrs+recovering
♀ 31582
Member # 31582
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Been married over 35 years, check.
He has been collecting SS for 4 years, check.

I am 59 and if we get divorced by the time I am 60, I can collect his SS at age 62. check.

Only questions is how much? I understand I can collect on mine or his, who ever is more?

Can this be? His is more than mine?


BS (me)60 FWH 72
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 562 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand I can collect on mine or his, who ever is more?

This is correct. You don't collect both, just one and you get to choose which one. I am not sure how it works and how you notify SS what you plan to do.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Eranda
♀ 6010
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My understanding is this: you have to have been married for at least 10 years. He has to be at least *eligible* to collect, whether he does or not.

You have to have been unmarried for the previous two years (although I could be wrong about that, please check that one).

You can collect on his spousal benefit (which I think is half of his benefit) or you can collect on your own benefit.

The other thing you can do is to collect on the spousal benefit for a while and leave yours to mature until you're older, then change over and collect on yours at the higher rate.

And if he dies, you can collect the survivor benefit.

This is all regardless of whether he is collecting, remarried, whatever- it doesn't matter. And he will not be notified of what you're doing.

Please confirm all this, but I think I have it right.


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4239 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
Phoenix1
♀ 38928
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take a look here: http://www.ssa.gov/retire2/yourdivspouse.htm

It tells you exactly what you can get...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1263 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Gr8Lady
♀ 36307
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like good news for you. You can only collect one, and if his is larger that is factored in your favor.
I recall years ago, this gem fell into my beloved Aunts lap unexpectedly. ( back before Internet research). Her WH left her for someone 1/2 his age. We were so excited for my Aunt to receive the larger SS amount. Certainly made her life better.
And lying cheating WH got dumped by the younger woman, and my Aunt got sweet revenge by the higher SS check. She SO deserved every penny for what she was put through.

Good luck to you


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 626 | Registered: Jul 2012
Housefulloflove
♀ 38458
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've got many years before I can think about collecting SS but I found out about this a few years ago (although I don't yet know the details). My mom is collecting benefits from her first ex husband. Ex and I were married 10 years and 5 months so it's something that is very relevant. It was actually a little comforting to know that spending 10 years with that jackass will at least give me a little more financial stability if I'm blessed to live a long life (thankfully without him!) It's not much of a consolation prize but it's something!

And if he dies, you can collect the survivor benefit.

This I did not know. I'll have to look into this.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
newnormal
♀ 21925
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it chaps my butt to know both wxh can both collect on my earnings. Fxh isnt marrying his gf because of that and other financial reasons. My only joy is that they are 4 and 5 years older than me and I refuse to retire until I'm 70.

If I ever get married again, I've got to fix my picker.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
2yrs+recovering
♀ 31582
Member # 31582
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Grt8-are you collecting SS? I plan on collecting as soon as I can!


BS (me)60 FWH 72
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 562 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
Gr8Lady
♀ 36307
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 12:37 AM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I am collecting. I am also entitled to 1/2 his military disability pension when he dies. He is 100 percent disabled. Gets all kinds of benefits...no home tax, which will pass to me too.
Even if he remarries....I have been married 35 yrs so.new wife just gets the consolation prize...lying cheating man and I get pension.
I'm not a gold digger by any means, but I earned this for the emotional abuse I went thru. So do you!

You Go girl....take care of yourself. Sent you PM


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 626 | Registered: Jul 2012
2yrs+recovering
♀ 31582
Member # 31582
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not a gold digger by any means, but I earned this for the emotional abuse I went thru. So do you!
You Go girl....take care of yourself. Sent you PM

That is so right, after all his entitlements!!! lol. I really am at the point where I feel entitled to do what I want. and I don't mean cheating. At almost 60 years old, still working, my kids are grown, I did a great job at that! Time for me. He has no pension, so I will be working for a very long time, but if I sell this house, we don't have a mtg., I could find a small home in Florida and live comfortably!


BS (me)60 FWH 72
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 562 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From what I hear, as long as you were married for over 10 years, if your ex-spouse is collecting Soc Sec, you can apply for, and receive, half of their benefits. And Soc Sec doesn't even tell them about it. For example, if he receives $500 a month, he would still receive his $500, and you would receive $250. Definitely go and apply if you can.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3488 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
mom of 2
♀ 11214
Member # 11214
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping because I missed this thread but read about this benefit today! I had NO idea about this. Of course my fellow SI-ers were ahead of the game. It may help someone else that also missed this thread.

http://www.ssa.gov/retire2/divspouse.htm


Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.

Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)


Posts: 13332 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: The suburbs of hell
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does this work across borders? x is American... grin:

[This message edited by FaithFool at 2:33 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17704 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.