I agree with HARDENMYHEART
a betrayal is a betrayal
in MC my WW admitted I could have given her everything she went outside the marriage to get with her AP...and she did this while our daughter was battling a horrific eating disorder. In MC, WW told me her "A" was "therapy" for her to escape. What a pile of nonsense and issue avoidance.
In IC, same as MC for both of us) i was told my WW was selfish, stubborn and was doing everything in her power to blame others for her actions. IN the FOG...
My WW pressured AP to leave his Faithful wife, but he refused. My WW doesnt know I know this.
AP also had some ED issues.....which all cleared up during his "R" while he put in the hard work to fix his marriage.
Your actions define you, not the persona you work so very hard at projecting to everyone you come in contact with.
her WW- 57
7 yr LTA (PA & EA-maybe 10yrs?) with her former boss
one D-24 yrs old- former eating disorder now OCB
married 26 yrs
and its been roller-coaster
confronted 6 wks later (didnt know what i was going to do?)
I contacted AP's faithful wife who knew nothing, we stayed in contact to monitor their every move.
Broke NC multiple times, final NC July 2012.
Fog, denial, blame shifting, issue avoidance,rub sweeping, TT you name it and she did it but things are finally getting better very slowly
its a long road....and painful