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Newest Member: Questiounanswere (45696)

User Topic: 2-5 years
AFrayedKnot
♂ 36622
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When bad days hit it can feel so discouraging. Nothing new, just living in the past on an antiversary.

I just keep telling myself it is better than it was 6 months ago and that was better than a year ago and that was better than two years ago.

2-5 years...2-5 years...2-5 years


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2666 | Registered: Aug 2012
mchercheur
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Chicho)))
I hear you.
I think my Dday was just a few months before yours. I SO know what you mean. The pain is not as often, but when it comes it is just as bad.
I hope your WS is working to help you heal.
I am trying to get my WH to get his head out of the sand.


Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 7 mo. PA with COW;
Married 20something years with kids
Trying to R

Posts: 1443 | Registered: Dec 2012
unfound
♀ 12802
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Patience, ugh! So hard when you know the end result, but have to walk the road to get there!

It gets easier, I promise .


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14866 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

You just keep moving forward Chicho. Before you know it, the time you once dreaded becomes your friend.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3858 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
bionicgal
♀ 39803
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Chico)))
You are in my thoughts.


me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Maxiom
♂ 26001
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is a point where it stops getting better. I wish it weren't so.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 462 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regardless of where you are in years, the holidays are especially hard. Sending bro hugs.

(((Chicho


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18259 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Deanna
♀ 26854
Member # 26854
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Four years. Really happy !


DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1474 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
lordhasaplan?
♂ 30079
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chico,
Time to grieve the past but give it no power. Live in the present and make the future you want. Empowered by the knowledge your the bomb!
((Chico))


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1920 | Registered: Nov 2010
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just keep telling myself it is better than it was 6 months ago and that was better than a year ago and that was better than two years ago.

This is so similar to my thought process. It also helps me to think of some of the more hurtful and painful experiences from the first year after the d-days. I reflect on those times, and think, "Thank goodness I'm not there anymore. Thank goodness WE (my wife and I) aren't there anymore."

The whole 2-5 years thing is really just a swag... but it does provide hope that one day we WILL be better. There is hope upon the horizon.

That being said, I have gotten caught up in that swag, and one thing that helps is thinking about today.

Wishing you and yours peace.

((Chicho))


Posts: 7961 | Registered: Dec 2010
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Chicho)))

I know you're really good at appreciating the moments and all the blessings in your life. I also understand that sometimes the tough stuff just gets overwhelming.

This is a moment in time that you will get through. And I know there will be many moments of joy and love for you moving forward.

Hang in there.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38616 | Registered: Sep 2007
LA44
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Chicho))


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2574 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 12

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