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Unagie posted 11/16/2013 13:53 PM

Oh god it just hit me that I want to close my eyes and never wake up. I honestly thought to myself, the world would be better off. I instantly reared back. WTH I thought I was past that point, I thought I was at a point where those types of throughts didn't creep in anymore....I'm so tired.

mom of 2 posted 11/16/2013 14:16 PM

I am SO sorry! Keep posting. I've been down that rabbit hole more times than I care to admit.

I can very much relate. Every goddamn time you think you're beyond "that", something will send you right over the edge. You're not alone.

sleepless34 posted 11/16/2013 14:19 PM

Go for a walk. Call a friend. Try to stop the monkey brain and meditate. Think about nothing, clear your head. Stay in the moment...take it minute by minute.

It will get better. You will be okay. Get some Zoloft. Every day it will get a little better.

Sorry! Hang in there.

Vulcanized posted 11/16/2013 14:26 PM

(((Unagie)))

Do you have any friends nearby that have a dog or cat that you can spend some time with? Even in my darkest, darkest, darkest days, that would always lift my spirits a little bit.

Thefly559 posted 11/16/2013 14:31 PM

Stay off drugs! Hit the gym , go jogging , journal, do yoga, walk, go in a room by yourself and scream. Drugs and alcohol are the last things you need. The thoughts are just thoughts and severe depression is part of recovery. If you felt no pain then you should worry. You are strong you are important. You will get past this. And repeat!

5454real posted 11/16/2013 14:34 PM

Strength.

You're starting a new life. Sometimes putting down the old baggage is the hardest part.

Call a friend. Call a family member. Go for a walk.

Above all else, remember, You are worth it!

Mojo

sunsetslost posted 11/16/2013 14:46 PM

Hang in there. Better times are ahead. I know you can do this because I didn't think I could and I am. Follow the advice you get here. It saved me. It'll save you

Nature_Girl posted 11/16/2013 14:53 PM

Honey, it's okay to be tired. It's okay to want to sleep. It's okay to wish this would all go away and you could wake up with everything magically all better.

I think we all get there more than once during this process.

The thing is, at least how this is how things float around in my brain, the thing is at least you're feeling something. You're feeling something. You're alive, and as long as there's life there's hope. Hope that better days are coming. And they are. Better days that you'll appreciate all the more because you worked hard to get to them.

Baby steps, sister. Baby steps. You'll get there.

Unagie posted 11/16/2013 15:39 PM

Thank you....I hugged my dog and talked to my boss who's a sweetheart. She has no idea what's going on but it helped. I spoke to a customer who had me laughing too. I know I'm better then those thoughts but sometimes they slap me out of nowhere and I think wth!? Thank you, all of you.

nomistakeaboutit posted 11/16/2013 15:45 PM

You're depressed.

Contact a doctor, be honest and describe your depression and get some medication.

Remember that the way you are feeling at this moment is temporary. You will feel differently tomorrow or the next day. You can do some things to influence how you're feeling. Start with the meds. Go from there.

I'm sorry you're feeling so defeated.

Post more if it will help. What brought this on? What has changed? What is your R status?

mof2 posted 11/16/2013 17:57 PM

((((Unagie))))

I think many of us had those moments. Stop and think about all the people who love you. I had two dark moments and look back now and think "why would have I ended it over such a selfish emotionally retarded douche bag." You deserve better than this and it will get better. Please just hang in there and come here for support. We all have your back. HUGS!!!!